30 January 2018

Impatience

In Harun Yahya's Quick Grasp of Faith 3,

66. Do such concepts as impatience and despair have a place in a believer’s life? 

Allah advises the faithful to be patient in times of difficulty, as follows:

O You who believe. Be steadfast, be supreme in steadfastness, be firm on the battlefield, and heed Allah so that hopefully you will be successful. (Surah Al `Imran, 200)

Allah advises believers to be steadfast when they face hardship. The believers use their intellect, as well as all material and spiritual means, and do their utmost to overcome  difficulties. In addition, knowing that hardships are special conditions that Allah creates to test them and that there is an absolute good hidden behind these events, they trust Allah,  for this is essential to their continued steadfastness. The believers’ explicit trust that Allah creates every event with absolute wisdom, and that He will remove these difficulties by answering their prayers, prevents them from experiencing despair, hopelessness, and similar negative feelings.

In "Say: ‘My servants, you who have transgressed against yourselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Truly Allah forgives all wrong actions. He is the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Merciful,’" (Surat az-Zumar, 53) Allah commands the believers not to despair of His mercy, no matter what happens.


*****

At the age of 28, I still haven't secure a decent job. I graduated with honours and a good CGPA. Even so, my life doesn't seems like it move forward since the day I graduated. So, I decided to further my study after 1 year doing carpentering job with my brother, and 1 and a half year working for my community. Unfortunately, as I started my postgraduate studies, the government did not give any sponsorship anymore for my field of study. It might seems like I do not have any problem with it, but actually, I have been struggling. Research expenses is not little. Plus, the fees. Having been through this, I occasionally lose my motivation. I thought about quitting so many times. I am alone... I am by myself. In the environment where people mostly think about themselves, doesn't bother caring about others, I do think that life is unfair, sometimes. But then, in my heart, I know well that life is short to waste on grievance. I still believe that Allah has better plan for His servant.

Getting impatient and despair are not wrong. What makes it wrong is that we keep on living with those feeling. Without trying to get out from those situation.

Allah beri kita apa yang kita perlukan untuk hidup sebaiknya dan peringatan yang berterusan. Sesetengah orang dilimpahi dengan kekayaan, bersama kekurangan dalam hidup, seperti hidup berjauhan dari suami, belum diberikan zuriat, dan sebagainya. Kenapa? Allah beri sesuatu untuk kita bersyukur...dan dilambatkan sesuatu nikmat, untuk kita terus berdoa dan tidak lupa pada-Nya. Cuba saja Allah berikan segala kehendak kita, tidak mustahil kita lupa pada Allah, lalu lalai dan leka dengan dunia. Hasilnya, kebahagiaan yang kita hadapi di dunia menjadi punca kecelakaan kehidupan di akhirat.

 نعوذ بالله من ذلك.

Makanya, jangan berputus asa atas sesuatu yang belum kita kecapi, kerana Allah punya perancangan yang baik untuk kita. Aku menghadapi banyak kegagalan dalam hidup..dan di sepanjang perjalanan inilah aku mendidik rasa percaya kepada aturan Allah dan berfikiran positif. Setiap kali gagal atau bersedih, aku selalu pujuk diri sendiri, "mungkin usaha dan doa aku masih kurang, atau mungkin aku masih meragui rezeki Allah."

Dalam setiap langkah perjalanan kita di bumi Allah ini, Dia sertakan sebab untuk kita bersyukur dan berdoa memohon pertolongan-Nya.

Sekali lagi...

Satu pengharapan yang tidak pernah putus tu hanya dapat diraih jika disandarkan kepada YANG TIDAK MATI.


Wallahua'lam.

Lala, 00:17, 29012018

04 January 2018

25-30 Marriage

Happy New Year, everyone...


Kali ni, sekali lagi, aku nak cakap pasal kawen ni. Aku tau yg membaca blog aku ni suka kalau sembang-sembang pasal kawen ni.


Nak dijadikan cerita, mak ayah aku mulai bertanya dengan aku soal calon suami/ kawan istimewa sejak aku berumur 25 tahun. Aku rasa masa tu mereka dah rasa aku ni dah boleh kawen, walhal aku sendiri tak rasa camtu. Tiba2 keluar serious talk pasal marriage, aku sendiri pun shocked, awkward.


Ya, aku xde so-called kawan istimewa, masa tu, dan sekarang pun. Aku punya ramai kawan lelaki, tapi xde yang istimewa. Haha. Aku pernah suka betul2 kat someone, sekali je setakat ini. Aku ni boleh kira dengar cakapla. Mak aku selalu pesan, waktu masih study jangan nak menggatal bercouple. Jadi, aku betul2 tak berani nak menuju ke arah itu. Guys nak berkenalan, aku lari, avoid them. Sampai orang kata aku ni memilih la, terlalu rigid la, warak sangat la. Salahkah aku ikut pesan mak aku? Come on la, mungkin baju aku longgar, tudung aku labuhla sikit, tapi aku belum sampai ke tahap alim/ warak ye. Banyak lagi aku kena belajar dan perbaiki. Aku tak nak la tarik ayah dan abg2ku masuk neraka, nak diorg dapat pahala. Lagipun, pakai elok2 gini, takla tertarik suami masuk neraka. Sweet tak aku? Teehee.


Tahun ni umur aku masuk 28 tahun. Rasa dewasa semacam. Dan aku masih study. Tapi mak cakap, bolehla cari2 kalau2 jumpa jodoh. Ekk...aku tengah study kot. Dulu cakap tak boleh. Sekarang boleh pula. Konpius aku. 😂 Apapun, sekarang ni bukan masalah aku tengah study, cuma feeling ke arah tu tak ada. Seronok juga tengok member ramai dah kawen dan nak kawen, tapi aku masih rasa belum bersedia, belum terfikir. Kawan aku sorg ni cakap, kalau aku masih tak terfikir nak kawen tu, maksudnya belum jodoh. 😊


Hidup ni kena percaya pada Qada' & Qadar Allah. Tak la stress2 hidup tak tenang. Percaya kepada Qada' dan Qadar Allah tu merupakan Rukun iman yang ke-6. Tengok, nice kan ajaran Islam. Kalau kita ikut, insyaAllah, kita boleh merasa nikmat kebahagiaan.


Beriman atau percaya kepada qada dan qadar itu bermaksud percaya dengan sepenuh hati bahawa Allah telah menentukan segala sesuatu yang akan terjadi untuk mahluknya (qada dan qadar).


Setiap manusia telah diciptakan dengan ketentuan sejak azali lagi. Takdir ni ada 2 jenis, iaitu;


1.Takdir Muallaq


Takdir muallaq yaitu takdir yang masih dapat diubah dengan usaha atau ikhtiar .Contohnya, kalau nak berjaya, kena berusaha, nak kaya, kena bekerja. Dan juga jodoh pun perlu diusahakan. Allah takkan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum itu sehingga mereka mau mengubah nasib mereka sendiri. (Ar-Ra'd: 11)


2. Takdir Mubran


Takdir mubran yaitu takdir yang tidak dapat diubah. Contohnya, MATI. Syarat mati itu bukan sakit, tapi hidup.
Dengan beriman/ percaya kepada Qada' dan Qadar, kita akan lebih bersyukur kepada Allah, menjadi lebih dekat kepada-Nya, dan turut menjadikan kita orang yang sentiasa berusaha dan tidak berputus asa. Selain tu, kita akan mendapat ketenangan, jauh dari sifat sombong, dan sentiasa bersabar dan bertawakkal lepada Allah.



**********


Misc: Epilog Q


Ya. Sebelum ni aku pernah betul-betul suka dekat sorang insan bernama Wafdan. For many years. Suami aku ni adalah cinta keduaku, dan insyaAllah yg terakhir buatku.


Wafdan. Aku suka dia sejak di bangku sekolah, tapi aku mulai sedar yang aku betul2 serius mencintainya semasa aku buat degree. Kalau ditanya kenapa aku suka dia, aku pun tak tau. Nak kata hensem, sejujurnya, suami aku ni lagi hensem. Tambah comel dengan lesung pipit di pipi. Nak kata sebab dia sweet, memang tak la. Orang kata, cinta itu datang tiba-tiba. Unexpectedly, towards unexpected someone. Dan masa tu, Wafdan bagiku. Perasaanku tak pernah goyah. Ada saja jejaka yang ingin berkenalan dengan aku, tapi aku punya setia tu, sangatlah tak bertempat. Nak kata aku 'in a relationship dengan Wafdan', tak juga. Sehinggalah Shu@Lutfi jumpa ibu dan ayahku. Masa tu, aku tak boleh nak reject senang2. Aku sedar, perasaan bukan lagi sekadar saluran kebahagiaan, tapi dokumentari kehidupan.


Masa aku terima suami aku ni pun, perasaanku pada Wafdan masih bersisa. It has been years after all. Orang kata, kalau kita keep on doing certain things tu, boleh jadi habit. Mungkin itu yang terjadi padaku. Hatiku dah terbiasa mencintainya. Sehinggalah aku baca diari suamiku hari tu. Member aku pernah cakap, to be with someone who really loves you is better than being with someone you love. Dan untuk aku, that someone adalah my Mr. Right, Shu@Lutfi.


I love you, Shu. May Allah bless our marriage, till jannah. InsyaAllah.



#misc #epilogQ

31 December 2017

Year-End Rant: My 2017

My 2017.

2017 has been a really tiring yet rewarding year.

Career. I changed job, still not a permanent one. I met many kind of people, mostly academicians and researchers, and they are all inspiring. Advising me to pursue academic/ research, but I just can't see myself as one in the future. Completed my own research activities and started with journal articles and thesis writing. As if. 😂 Yea, I did completed it in fact, but somehow, as I wrote my thesis, I found out that there is something wrong/ lack in my research. So, I've decided to improve and recollect the data. However, I am not going to waste my previous data. I am still working on the papers I planned to produce with the data. Research is fun, without restriction, with freedom. I went to many underserved villages and learn so much. Suffer as much. 😂 Even so, it motivates me to give. Through knowledge.


Time flies. Love fades.

Love. The fact that he's still the only one i have ever loved is wonderful. Blame my stubborn heart. Knowing that i am insignificant to him is kinda painful. All the moments we spent together, and every little words he ever said sticks in my mind, thus, i didn't realize that time flies. Love is space and time measured by the heart. But for us, it was unmeasurable, coz i was the only one with space in my heart for him. I am. There has yet the second. Seeing him still change my heart rythm. Keep being like this, and it'll become a habit. In fact, it already is. Loving him. Since when did our path become so parallel that it seems like it'll never cross each other. More than a decade passed, and I am still filled with both love and hesitation.

Izinkan aku memetik kata-kata ini untuk yang kedua kalinya: (tahun ni kurang baca buku, banyak baca journal article je, so, xde quotation baru...haha)

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym.  

“Happiness is not the absence of problems; it's the ability to deal with them.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free.

2017. Tried to be as positive as i can, everyday. Always. And will keep on doing so. And this year, i'm healthier than the year before. Spent less time with family, thus often get homeSICK. 😁 Gain weight, BMI still ideal. Experienced the worst sunburn in my life, as well. That was very bad. Ruined my skin, but I care less about it than about getting a real job. But somehow, 2017 was satisfying in overall. I am going to work harder to find a real stable job. Wish me all the best, everyone!

*****

Hari ini
Kau berfikir kenapa kau kerja separuh mati
Berjaga sehingga dinihari
Tapi tidak dihargai
Yang dapat hanya caci maki

Completed study, waaa i'm happy
Now i'm an adult, so, i'm free
Those feeling remains in your memory
U feel like life is cruel? Yea it can be...

Kau dah berkerja tetap, mengeluh setiap hari
Padahal di luar sana ramai yang masih mencari
Awal dapat kerja dulu bukan ka kau dah janji?
Nak kerja elok2 nak bangunkan diri

This is not a grievance, not even slightly
Just a reminder on how to be happy
Life shouldn't be full of dissatisfaction, but with positivity
Yea, we know each individual differs in their personality
But optimism drives you forward, don't you agree?

Kau ingat boleh jadi optimis hari ini lepas berdoa malam tadi?
Kau ingat fikiran positif itu ada dijual beli?
Tidak, pemikiran ni kita bentuk sendiri, dengan mendidik hati
Yea, tak usah cari sana sini, dah ada dalam diri
INSYAALAH mudah jika disirami dengan percaya pada Ilahi.


*Yes, i compiled my fb posts. 😂


*****

Dunia akhir zaman

Umatnya

Terjerat dalam perangkap materialism
Hanyut melayari bahtera kekayaan yang mempesona
Terperangkap dalam sangkar hedonism
Lantas kecundang dalam penipuan dunia.


It's a wrap! So, the end of my 2017 was well spent with both friends and relatives.

Photo credit: Everyone else. 😂


*****^_^*****

2018's resolution?

To do my best in everything and live my life to the fullest.