tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71974868081596597652024-01-28T17:04:04.984+08:00.:T.H.O.U.G.H.T.S:.Apabila kamu merasa letih kerana berbuat kebaikan maka sesungguhnya keletihan itu akan hilang dan kebaikan yang dilakukan akan terus kekal. Dan sekiranya kamu berseronok dengan dosa maka sesungguhnya keseronokan itu akan hilang dan dosa yang dilakukan akan terus kekal.
-Saidina Ali bin Abi Thalib.Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.comBlogger172125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-64660390751956917832023-05-31T07:09:00.002+08:002023-05-31T07:25:47.477+08:00Life - Repeat<div>Aku berdiri teguh di pentas dunia </div><div>Jalani sketsa hidup didasari rasa percaya </div><div>Terkadang menahan pedih gurisan tindak manusia</div><div>Terus mencari kemanisan dalam pahitnya rasa </div><div><br></div><div>~intishar, 300523 </div><div><br></div><div>****** </div><div><br></div><div>Life is all about choices and consequences. </div><div><br></div><div>"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." -Albert Einstein</div><div><br></div><div>The older we get, the harder it is to keep up with life's changes. As time passes, life becomes more challenging. We stumble upon things (some might come as a surprise), and we have to decide how to act on them. </div><div><br></div><div>When starting something new or when changes happen in our professional life, it is normal to struggle in the beginning. Embrace the change, and take the challenge. One day, we will realize that all of what we achieve through the experience are mainly due to our commitment to our self-development. Because without commitment, we would never be able to normalize the new life, and you will never be able to feel proud of your achievement. </div><div><br></div><div>One of the quotes that kept me moving forward when my life was too hectic with work+study+social life that I wish time could be paused: </div><div><br></div><div>"If you give up, it's over. But if you don't give up, the day will come when you'll be glad that you didn't give up."</div><div><br></div><div>The simple way of thinking about it is that there is no such thing as useless, invaluable, or unbeneficial knowledge. Knowledge is power. I'm sure no one can deny it. And only those with a good attitude towards knowledge can enjoy the wisdom behind it.</div><div><br></div><div>If we can’t see far to the future, we could focus on the present. Live our present life to the fullest. Learn something new. Improve ourselves. Make every day our best day! Be someone we can be proud of. I am proud of myself today because I completed another task. I am proud of myself today because I solved a problem. I am proud of myself today because I helped people. I am tired, but it is worth it!</div><div><br></div><div>Enjoy every little accomplishment we achieve every day.</div><div><br></div><div>“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.”</div><div>― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym. </div><div><br></div><div>When challenges knock on our door, we only have 2 choices. Open the door and FACE IT - we get to be stronger, explore new things, develop ourselves. Or AVOID IT, and stay where we are, and we never know what's behind that door. When we see the bright side of everything that happens in our lives, challenges will never be a bad thing. </div><div><br></div><div>Appreciate every second in our lives, and never waste it because every moment happens only once. No rewind button, no pause button.</div><div><br></div><div>You are the author of your life story!</div><div><br></div><div>“To achieve something, instead of waiting for good fortune or talent, one should put in endless efforts and must go through hardships. It ain’t over ’til it’s over.” -Yogi Berra, 1973-</div><div><br></div><div>“For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.” (94:5-6)</div><div><br></div><div>May every day be our best day! </div><div><br></div><div> </div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-33586309807861285512023-01-11T21:43:00.001+08:002023-05-31T07:03:49.004+08:00My 2022 - Stepping into 2023<div><br></div><div><br></div><div>2022 was a year when changes happened drastically my life. I encountered and experienced many new things. Working in an unfamiliar place with new people and started getting into an unfamiliar role. I left a job and got into a new role. </div><div><br></div><div><b>Academia </b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div>I became an academician. I had my first group of students. I wrote a paper and started writing a book on HR Analytics. I delivered HR training. I developed 2 web applications. I developed an Excel Analytics training module from basic to advanced level. I created an HR dashboard integrating 14 key HR metrics. </div><div><br></div><div>My research grant application was successful. And I had a hard time working on it as I came to hate research. But it is my responsibility. That changed feeling about research made me feel devastated and down. Some people know what research used to mean to me. And since 2022, research has become a burden and not fun anymore. None of my team members know that I am pushing myself through and through for this project. (unless they found this)</div><div><br></div><div>I had a tough time in my new workplace. Not knowing my role and identity and miscommunications occurred that put me in a corner. And I started to feel like my 2019-2021 repeats again. But my father's words always get me back on my feet. 'the most important thing is only all that matters.' </div><div><br></div><div><div>The moments that bind us to our decisions are not in how often we get lost in contemplation; neither are they in the kind of heart that we can commit to that something rather are in that first step that we initiate to get things done.</div><div>- Tendai Kasusu </div></div><div><br></div><div>*** no-context writing</div><div>In my opinion, in any organisation, there should not be any role that's considered more significant than the others. So, no one in the organisation has the right to think that they are the most important people in the organisation. Let's take an analogy. If we believe that a car engine is more important than the other parts of a car, what's the point of the engine without the other parts? It cannot serve its purpose at all. What's the point of having an engine without a mechanism to start it? What's the point of starting the engine when it cannot do anything by itself? <br></div><div><br></div><div>That is what an organisation is. Everyone has a significant role and workload. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><b>Non-working time </b></div><div><b><br></b></div><div>In 2022, I hung out more with my family and friends. </div><div><br></div><div>We went to Sibu, Mukah, and Miri to visit mom's siblings. I drove from Kuching-Miri-Kuching. </div><div><br></div><div>I went camping and glamping with Shikin. I had lunch with Aimi. I played badminton with Shikin for a short while and took a break from it when my health worsened. I got better now, anyway.</div><div><br></div><div>I was infected with covid-19 once. </div><div>My anemia worsened, and I started wearing that colored lip balm because people always said I looked pale. I diligently started my treatment again, and my condition improved significantly. I guess I still keep doing my best in everything.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><b>Q3: An impactful professional journey</b></div><div><br></div><div>I had a great experience working in Q3. I experienced a downfall in my previous workplace. I had anxiety and was stressed out.</div><div><br></div><div>And Q3 healed me. Q3 helped me rebuild my self-esteem. It was very comfortable working in a place where people don't know who I am and a place that values difference—no burdensome expectations. I am different; I have to admit it. I am uncomfortable with people, but my job was all about dealing with people who are our beneficiaries and stakeholders. It took me a lot of courage and effort to socialize. But my bosses were very understanding. Every time I needed to ask something from the stakeholders or delegate tasks to my colleagues, I thought very carefully about it. Will they be okay to do this? Am I being fair in delegating tasks? Am I making things hard for them? Is it ok to ask for this and that from them? Hence, my bosses sometimes had to intervene. Either my bosses were patient with me, or they had no choice. I'm not sure. But I really like my bosses. I will always be grateful to them.</div><div><br></div><div>When it comes to talent development, I believe that we should not limit one's capacity. Instead of seeing the limit to one's capacity, we should focus on the broad opportunity for growth since, by default, the opportunity for growth is always wider than one's current ability. In that sense, Q3's environment was somehow aligned with my belief. My experience in Q3 made me realize that the amount of knowledge we can learn is not necessarily relative to the amount of time we spent with the organisation / person. </div><div><br></div><div>I don't regret my decision to leave, as it was for unavoidable and honorable reasons. I take it as a journey Allah set for me. I am grateful for that. I still miss my ex-bosses and colleagues there. And I miss that window where I screamed people's names for making things hard for me. 😂</div><div><br></div><div>Through this one fateful meeting</div><div>I learn to cherish each and every encounter</div><div><br></div><div>Even if the seasons change</div><div>Even if the times start to change</div><div>Even if the doors of the future have opened</div><div>We will move forward without changing</div><div><br></div><div>Thank you, Q3. It has been a great adventure. I've learned a lot.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><b>Welcome, 33.</b></div><div><br></div><div>When job offers come to us without sending a job application, we are exposed to the risk of wanting to leave whenever things become hard at work. And it is obviously not good. I wish ayah is here to listen to my concerns and struggles. I miss ayah.</div><div><br></div><div>My current boss has been telling me to express myself more when I have been doing so. Usually, I won't talk at all. But nowadays, I express my frustration and disappointment to others. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-61433787174895411732022-02-02T15:11:00.002+08:002022-11-09T22:01:31.587+08:00My 2021<div><br></div><div><b>Part 1: A void</b></div><div><br></div><div>I still enjoy studying. However, the more I studied, the more I became overwhelmed with the emptiness that I started to feel ever since ayah left. Ayah was a big supporter of my study journey. Once, he visited me in UNIMAS and told me to keep studying until I become tired of it because I am the only one of my siblings who enjoy studying. He used to sit beside me when I was studying. Sometimes, he bought some Coke & snacks for me. </div><div><br></div><div>Whenever I'm experiencing something interesting in my life, I miss ayah and the 'ayah, tauk x yah...' sessions I had with him. I don't talk much, so he used to look forward to my 'tauk x yahh..'. I talked about my workshops, I talked about the people I met during my field trip, the boar, the river, the foods I ate, the longhouses, the road, ferry, dolphin, my friends, and many other things. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><b>Part 2: Dream?</b></div><div><br></div><div>The thing about doing research study is you get to learn from experts in the field, get some constructive criticism, open your mind to new ideas and limitless knowledge, and develop your research and analytical mind. And yes, I want to grow more as a researcher, but I don't want to teach. That's why I hardly find a suitable place for me. Because willingness and desire to be an excellent social & management researcher, have always been associated with the teaching profession. But I'm pretty sure that I am not good at teaching. I wonder, will I ever find my place someday?</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><b>Part 3: Change</b><br></div><div><div style="font-weight: bold;"><b><br></b></div><div>I always believe that I'm the kind of person who just follows the flow in life. When I'm no longer appreciated, I leave. When I see a better opportunity to explore the world more, I take up the challenge. When I am not confident about being the kind of person people expect me to be, I run away from them before I become a disappointment. But maybe, all this while, I've been the one who creates the path for my life to flow. </div><div><br></div><div>I relocated to Selangor for my new job in November 2021. I wouldn't say that this is my 1st time working far from my family because I think I go home more frequently now as compared to when I was working in UNIMAS.</div><div><br></div><div>Being in an unfamiliar place, it took a while for me to adapt, especially to the environment and culture. My life here has been only about my apartment and workplace. And these two are in the same building. I still can't get used to the people around me. 😅</div><div><br></div><div>2021 is a year of change for me. I made a big decision for myself. I left a stable job. I published a research article for fun (not because of requirement), I unintentionally became a data scientist, I relocated and started to live alone. </div></div><div><br></div><div><div>Last but not least, there shouldn't be a difference between what we work for and what we live for. Both of them should lead to the same conclusion.</div><div><br></div></div><div>2021 was a year when I finally learned to align my beliefs with my motivation and dream.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>***</div><div><br></div><div><div><b>Being Wise</b></div><div><br></div><div>Wisdom doesn't always need to be relative to academic qualification or status in society.</div><div><br></div><div>My parents show us that being wise doesn't need academic certification, position in society or money. Instead, all it needs is the ability to see the good in others and know what matters the most. </div><div><br></div><div>Ayah showed us that sometimes we don't have to fight to prove that we're right. There are meaningless fights in life. It is just a matter of perspectives. There might be fights that we lose or ignore, but by doing that, we are winning. Arguments should be made to understand, not to show that we're right or to force our ideas onto others. I don't accept other people ideas blindly without asking and having arguments. That's how we understand each other, learn new things, and grow. So, do argue with an intention to understand, not to contradict. </div><div><br></div><div>***</div><div><br></div><div><i>'The world changes drastically overnight. Those who can stand up to it are professionals with the right skills.'</i></div><div><br></div><div>I read this somewhere. Not sure where.</div><div><br></div><div>***</div></div><div><br></div>Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-10407625838391597662021-12-05T14:14:00.001+08:002021-12-05T14:44:34.868+08:00F=ma<div>Life is all about choices and consequences.</div><div><br></div><div>"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." -Albert Einstein</div><div><br></div><div>Some people try hard and give their best with no other intention than to be helpful while developing themselves. They simply refuse to stop reaching their full potential and expanding and growing.</div><div><br></div><div>Often time they were misunderstood as trying to show off when they genuinely felt responsible about giving back to those who gave them the opportunity, taught them things and made them the person they are now.</div><div><br></div><div>While people misunderstand their efforts and principles, they struggle with being stuck between 2 choices: to keep their values & principles or to work in a so-so manner, stop giving extra effort but liked by others. The latter would lead them to a life full of guilt and self disappointments.</div><div><br></div><div>And our action can determine their reaction.</div><div><br></div><div>Think positively; some people live their lives to the fullest to avoid regret later. Let them be, and don't change them. Don't make things hard for the people who try to ease things for you.</div><div><br></div><div>And for you, think about when you are the happiest working despite the challenges. Return to that path, and stay on it. It's hard and lonely, but it comes with barakah and self-fulfilment. But when the environment causes you to contemplate right and wrong, or to the extent where you feel that it would be better that you are not around, leave. Don't stay when your self-esteem might be destroyed in the process of being considerate. </div><div><br></div><div>And for the employer, don't close your eyes just because you don't want to go against the majority. You are not a politician. Don't play safe. Trust me, when your employee leaves, they hold the most grudge on you instead of the colleagues who mistreated them. </div>Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-61188982360400022152021-08-21T00:29:00.000+08:002021-08-21T00:29:34.170+08:00 The 15 years that end in one second<div>Why am I not into relationships?</div><div><br></div><div>#In the context of this revelation, a relationship means, love connection between 2 strangers—meaning, not family.#</div><div><br></div><div>I have never been in a solid relationship to decide whether being in a relationship is a good thing or not. But I did have been in a very confusing relationship to know that a real relationship is not for me. Yet. At least not yet.</div><div><br></div><div>One of the things that I learned from my confusing relationship is that a relationship comes with the burden of the feeling of the need to rely on your partner. I am not saying that it is a bad thing. It is nice to have someone to rely on, or better yet, to rely on each other. </div><div><br></div><div>But unfortunately, I am not used to it. Most of the time, I want to handle things myself, and I don't even want to talk about everything to anyone. Yet, your partner usually expects that you rely on them and talk about everything with them. And meeting that expectation is hard for me. It can be overwhelming. Being not given space when all you need is that is tiring. Being forced to talk about something that you are not ready to talk about is suffocating. For me, being in each other's corner is good enough. Give space, and when they speak to you, listen. </div><div><br></div><div>That is why I have never been in a relationship... and haven't thought of being in one yet, because I know very well that love, protecting each other and relying on each other is a package.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>***</div><div><br></div><div>Just one second...</div><div><br></div><div>I have finally confessed my feeling to the person I've liked during my entire teenage and youth. Of course, I didn't say the 15 years part. And I clearly told him not to worry, as I am not into a relationship. After I told him about my feeling, I felt relieved. And I feel a little bit stupid. I've spent 15 years avoiding relationships because that space in my heart was occupied...and it took only one second to end the episodes of questioning myself 'what if...?' The friendship that I have with him is full of only good memories that I am afraid of the changes that might happen when there are emotional attachments. That's the main reason for not telling him about my feeling. Because it will definitely make things awkward, and I'll hate that. However, I believe that now we're not anymore can be disturbed easily with something like this. I will not feel awkward around him, and I hope he'll not too.</div><div><br></div><div>Cheers to the end of my 15 years of unspoken love! </div>Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-31548660857292199542021-08-11T22:59:00.001+08:002021-08-11T22:59:13.105+08:00Rambling<div>Love</div><div><br></div><div>"They do call it falling in love, and not stepping into love. The thing that they didn’t warn you was how difficult it was to get out once you have fallen in love."</div><div><br></div><div>This year is the crystal jubilee of my crush towards someone. I am not sure whether it is a happy thing or a sad thing. </div><div><br></div><div>The optimist me: I have a loyal heart. </div><div>The confused me: As the crush goes on, I cannot deny that it makes my heart heavier.</div><div><br></div><div>I am usually sweet with my girlfriends. Maybe. I care very much about them that I typically run towards them immediately when they need me. I check on them when they are sick, and I usually prioritise them over myself. </div><div><br></div><div>On the other hand, I keep my distance from guys, except those I am sure would never have any special feelings towards me. That's my common sense...keeping a safe distance with guys. Despite that, I have been in love with only one stranger (man) in my entire life. So, I have been telling myself to confess my feeling this year and end this 15 years long unspoken love. Maybe then I will be able to open my heart for others. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Career</div><div><br></div><div>I am still looking for a job while doing some consultancy job. </div><div><br></div><div>I resigned from my previous job last May, finally. When i decided to resign in January 2020, that was already final, in both my mind and heart. When I was asked to postpone my departure for at least 1 year, I was frustrated. It was hard...holding out for more than a year. It was suffocating, and I was all alone in that fight.</div><div><br></div><div>Bad days gone. So, I am currently working on my own as an HR generalist and innovation consultant. I am now designing an employee retention program, and consulting on learning and development solutions. Coming up will be monitoring and evaluation solutions. One thing about being a consultant, you cannot assume and make a general proposal. You need to study the business, and propose a data-driven solution. I played with the data for around 1-2 months for each project before designing solutions aligned with the company business. And for these jobs, I don't have a team. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Life</div><div><br></div><div>I miss my dad.</div><div>I miss hanging out with my siblings.</div><div>I hope to go on a vacation with my family.</div><div>I hope to enjoy an escape with my friends.</div><div>I want to start my study officially immediately. I still hope to have my previous supervisor as my supervisor.</div><div>I miss going out to the field, doing research, conducting training.</div><div>I am getting healthier...no more back pain, muscle distress, migraine. Should I grow some muscles? </div><div><br></div><div>Quarantine experience: To remember</div><div><br></div><div>We went into a total lockdown @ Enhanced Movement Control Order (EMCO) from 28th July - 10th August 2021 when there is a sudden increase of positive cases in my village. We got food supply from the government and Tabung Baitulmal Sarawak. My brother's business was halted. Mine was operating as usual since I am doing everything online. Nothing change, except that I ran out of my facial cleanser, so I used my mom's. 😅 Aaaaa...I made ice cream and pudding, as we ran out of those too. And I craved vanilla coke, but I took this opportunity to cut off the consumption a bit.</div><div><br></div><div>Now that it ended, I feel the urge to unlock my heart, too...but I don't feel right to throw this bomb on him. I can live with it for 15 years, so additional year/s won't hurt, i guess.</div>Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-81348319845950714872021-07-24T01:04:00.001+08:002021-07-26T00:01:43.402+08:00My E-ProfileAssalamualaikum world. <div><br></div><div>I am currently pretending that I am on sabbatical after 7 years of hard work. Of course 'sabbatical' is not used for my case. <div><br></div><div>Job hunting - business...but mostly job hunting. I like challenges. Fully recuperated and recharged...ready for a new adventure. </div><div><br></div><div>This is my professional profile...and a little bit of my story of 7 years of hard work. </div><div><br></div><div><a href="https://nuradilalatif.wordpress.com/">nuradilalatif.wordpress.com</a></div><div><br></div><div>Worked really hard...and appreciated well, at least in the 1st 5 years. Went through quite a lot, learned from it, and grow mature and stronger. </div><div><br></div><div>I will keep this blog as my personal blog. And <a href="https://nuradilalatif.wordpress.com/">nuradilalatif.wordpress.com</a> as my e-portfolio. </div><div><br></div><div>Stay safe, and be well. </div></div>Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-20757268408278626182020-05-20T21:38:00.000+08:002020-05-20T21:34:33.203+08:00Eid 1441HAssalamualaikum.<br />
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This year's Eid will be different than before, due to this Covid-19 outbreak. Sarawak is still in the phase of Conditional Movement Control Order (CMCO) implemented by the government to break the chain of the virus. Unlike most family, personally, for me, this Eid will be more joyful than ever. I never really enjoy Eid, because my mom was usually not in a good mood during Eid. </div>
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Since my mom married my father, she hardly went back to her hometown to visit our grandparent in Mukah. She told me, there was once, she ran amok just to go to her parents because she missed them too much, but my father could not afford to send her back. Ended up, my father's dad (my grandpa) lent her some money for that. I always pitied my mother since I was young, because of that. Every Eid, mom's mood had never been good. So as me. I just don't like to see my mom being sad. I know there are many things she thought about during Eid. About the regret she had for not celebrating Eid with her parents since her marriage, about how much she miss her parents, and about how unfair it is for her to enjoy Eid when she hardly made her parents happy during Eid since her marriage. Our family was kinda poor before. When my parents can finally afford going to my mother's hometown for a few times in a year, our grandparents was no longer alive. </div>
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Back to this year's Eid, mom is excited. She said because this Eid is different...we are not allowed to cross border between districts, no ziarah raya. Maybe, she feel less guilty, somehow. Seeing how excited my mom is, I feel happy. All these years, I always feel bad about enjoying Eid with my friends. Actually, I never even went ziarah raya to my friends' houses before, until one day, my mom told me to go and enjoy my Eid. That was just few years back, when she saw my younger sister and brothers went out to ziarah raya with their friends, while I stayed at home. Unlike previous Eid, this year, my mom started planning the cake and biscuit she want to bake. She even spent few days on Facebook looking for cake recipes, and wrote them down. We bought everything she need, and even a new steamer. Aside from that, she also plant some vegetables around our house. </div>
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So, despite all the bad things that happen to me, I can feel happy seeing my mom. </div>
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Ya Allah, I pray for my mom's happiness and health. Amiinn Ya Rabb.</div>
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Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-18291421940851036322020-05-19T13:16:00.001+08:002020-05-20T12:30:45.659+08:00I guess, now, I'm back here, talking about everything.Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-47307560113924899792019-12-31T21:14:00.000+08:002020-05-19T05:22:34.617+08:002019<div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;">
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I'm still not fully used of ayah not being around. Sometimes, i ask, why did Allah took him away when I'm not ready. But at times, i said to myself... Maybe, Allah took ayah back because we're ready. I know some might think that I'm making a fuss over a small matter, or that i'm childish. But ayah was a great supporter to me. He supported me endlessly, and he listened well, with no intention to contradict.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<h3>
<b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Career vs Study</span></b></h3>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Everyone has their secret sorrow which the world didn't know, and often times we call them cold when they are only sad.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">2019 is one hectic and challenging year. Since February 2019, I joined a new organization, with a totally new environment. Adapting to this new place is really hard and challenging as compared to getting my job done. I changed..thus, i am disappointed at myself. I need someone to talk to... But I always ended up having no chance to talk about myself, and what I've been through. My study has not been progressive since my supervisor reviewed the draft and suggested a few improvements in the write-up. That is enough to make me feel down every day.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There is not even a day i feel good, nowadays. I wake up every day, with only disappointment on myself. Work is my only distraction. I am glad that I'm good at pretending that I'm fine when I'm actually not. I can still do my work even when I'm crying inside. It's frustrating, knowing how slow you are getting about your own thesis and how incompetent you are in your job. People can only see the end product, but they can never understand the process of producing something, especially when you're not that good and requires extra effort to get there. Some might think that you're good by only looking at the product or result, but u know the best about it. I stop smiling for myself. I stop saying well done to myself. And i stop feeling proud of my job.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></b><br />
<h3>
<b><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Disappointment</span></b></h3>
<span style="color: #050505; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #050505; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I feel that I'm now living in the world where forgiveness seems irrational and the hardest thing to do. And yes, that's scary. Apart from that, somehow, nowadays, whenever I try to give advice, the only thing I get in return is contradiction and excuses. So, I choose to just listen and shut up. People who always come up with excuses and blame others for all the bad things that happen in their lives is immature (read: stupid). Some people hate me for thinking that way, though.</span></div>
<span style="color: #050505; font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
</span><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Why is despair not an approved state?</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Despair is unthinkable for a person who is aware of the fact that Allah is the creator of every being and every event, and who measures the power of Allah by its true measure. Because Allah is the One Who removes difficulties for His servants, is most forgiving, is full of mercy and has complete power and knowledge. Every incident that people may regard as a reason for despair, including all impediments, unexpected obstacles, diseases, accidents or mistakes, in fact occurs under the complete control of Allah. Allah is All-Knowing and nothing is absent from His knowledge. Being aware that one's destiny is designated by His endless knowledge is the greatest comfort one can ever have. Knowing this fact, one can never give way to despair.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Besides this, believers, knowing that it is possible that their mistakes may be remitted in this world, do not lose hope. Indeed, people are commanded in the Qur'an not to despair of the mercy of Allah:</span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">… Do not despair of solace from Allah. No one despairs of solace from Allah except for those who disbelieve. (Surah Yusuf: 87) </span></blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Say: "My servants, you who have transgressed against yourselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Truly Allah forgives all wrong actions. He is the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Merciful." (Surat az-Zumar: 53)</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">By Harun Yahya, Quick Grasp of Faith 2</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">
<span style="color: #050505;"><span style="font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">There are 2 reasons of change.<br />1. To build an opportunity<br />2. To give up</span></div>
<div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<h4 style="background-color: white; color: #050505; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Goodbye, 2019</span></h4>
Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-73058518368397330912018-12-31T23:59:00.000+08:002022-02-03T18:59:51.205+08:002018: It's a wrap!<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">If I should live long, </span><br>
Then perhaps the present days <br>
May be dear to me,</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Just as past time filled with grief</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Comes quietly back in thought.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Another year passed. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">2018</span><span style="font-size: 1.00em;"> is a year full with challenges and changes. </span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Heartbreak.</span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Ayah left us last August, end of the month. 2 weeks before ayah left, we went to visit my mom's family in Sibu and Mukah. Thank you Allah for given me such a quality time to spend with my parents. Yea, we got to talk about everything....my study, my love relationship (which is none), my work, my future plan, etc. We (me and my siblings who're not staying at home due to our work) got a phone call by my mom at around </span><span style="font-size: 1.00em;">00:00</span><span style="font-size: 1.00em;"> saying that my father was unconcious. I heard my mom cried hard as she talked with me, so, i kind of understood the situation. My housemate drove me back, immediately...really appreciate it. My 2nd and 3rd brother were already there when i reached home, and that gave me strength to accept the situation. Looking at them, i felt like 'we'll be fine, we should be fine...'..about the lost, and everything else. (My father was healthy and for us, it was an unexpected and a shocking event in our lives. Of course, we know very well that death has never been an unexpected situation for all of us.) Ayah and mak are our superheroes. All of our achievements (no matter how small or big), they are all due to Allah, and my parents. </span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">I miss ayah...all the time. Semoga ayah ditempatkan dalam kalangan orang yg beriman dan beramal soleh. Amiin ya rabb.</span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
*******</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Curiosity lead to exploration that build up your knowledge. Thus, you learn to love The Creator, yourself, nature and people. And those who love, own the happiness.</span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Exploration</span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">This year, similarly to the previous year, I've been sent to some other rural areas for research works. Got few projects in the urban areas as well. I went to communities that still practice barter system, the one that literally 'kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang'. I went to few dilapidated schools which are obviously unsafe. I saw a hunter slaughtering a big boar (this is a new experience for me). I got to know few sick peoples who can't get treatment from the hospital because they have no IC. Huhu~ Plus, the moment that I can't forget, when the young people gathered around me and talked about their aspirations, their concerns, and their hope for the younger generation to enjoy the same opportunity especially in education, despite living very far from the town. I got to teach in a workshop fully in English because there were international students attended the workshop. (This is new!)</span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">I learned many things from the people, and I was able to share some knowledge to them. When asked about what I'm looking for in my work, it would be the opportunity to be useful to the society. I don't plan to change the society, I don't think i'm capable of doing that, but i wish to be part of something meaningful and useful. Having been to more than 20 communities, I learned the differences in each of their needs, apart from learning about the different cultures and beliefs. </span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
</div>
<div dir="ltr">
*******</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Life is full with uncertainty.</span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Study</span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">After ayah left, i lost my motivation to study. I became unsure of everything. I started thinking that i should stop studying and focus on getting a job. But, ayah was hoping that i can get a PhD later on. Ayah always told me to pursue PhD after i get my masters degree. In the confusion, i decided to defer my study, to think more deeply about my future plan. Since then, my research was not progressed. I am not trying to make an excuse or blame the situation for not being able to complete my study as planned, but, for me, there are things that are more important than studying. To be frank, i'm still thinking of quitting. </span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">This semester will end very soon, and i'll return as a student next semester. I really need to get myself back on my feet.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">To achieve something, instead of waiting for good fortune or talent, one should put in endless efforts and must go through hardships. It ain't over 'til it's over. (Yogi Berra, </span><span style="font-size: 1.00em;">1973</span><span style="font-size: 1.00em;">)</span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
</div>
<div dir="ltr">
For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.<br>
Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. (94:5-6)<br>
<br></div>
<div dir="ltr">
*******</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">There's only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved.</span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Love</span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Despite being unprepared to be in a relationship with someone, I have the experience of being loved dearly by someone, and loving someone deeply. I am a person with an ancient thinking when it comes to a relationship. Meaning, being in a relationship must comes with the intention for marriage. That's why I keep my feeling unknown to that person. Plus, marriage is not in my to-do list yet. Some might say that i'm too serious. I still can't find any reason to get married, and even to get to know someone with the intention to get married. </span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Yes, I do have someone I like. To be attracted to someone of the opposite gender is fitrah...so, I don't think much about it. Except the fact that I have only like him for all these years. Maybe there has yet anyone else that can make me feel the same way as I am towards him. Hope? Expectation? I don't count on them. I believe that even if i'm not going to end up with him, once it's time, i'll meet someone meant for me, and fall in love again. </span><br>
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">In love, nothing exists between heart and heart.</span><br>
Speech is born out of longing,<br>
True description from the real feeling.<br>
The one who feels, knows;<br>
the one who explains, lies.<br>
How can you describe the true form of Something<br>
In whose presence you are blotted out?<br>
And in whose being you still exist?<br>
And who lives as a sign for your journey? (Rabia al-Basri)<br>
<br>
<br>
So, that's it for 2018. I wonder how can I wrote these while my thesis is still pending. I'll consider this as me taking a break, or maybe a distraction. Sometimes, distraction is necessary. 😉</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;"><br></span></div>
Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-40429801448706994512018-07-31T23:47:00.001+08:002018-08-19T22:53:07.210+08:00Research Design<p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">Research design. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">Mari mengenali jenis-jenis penyelidikan. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">One of my besties said, </span><br>
<span style="font-size:1.00em;">"Aku maok nyambong study, tapi aku xpande research."</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">Everything begin with 0 (zero), progressing based on the exploration of the knowledge. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">To begin with, lets start with how to decide on the research that we want to do. </span><br>
<span style="font-size:1.00em;">1. Based on your interest.</span><br>
<span style="font-size:1.00em;">2. Based on your experience in the industry.</span><br>
<span style="font-size:1.00em;">3. Based on your knowledge or expertise.</span><br>
<span style="font-size:1.00em;">4. Based on the current issues.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">In my personal opinion, it is important to do research on the topic we're interested in or which we have experience on. Because, we need to have fun in doing research. (This is just a personal opinion). Having knowledge about the topic will be very helpful and make ur research journey easier.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">In deciding our research topic, it is very crucial for us to explore about the field in general 1st before we focus on one specific area that we want to study in the field. Yea, we must know the scope of our research. Make sure it's not too big, and please consider your timeframe as well. Don't do longitudinal research when u're doing masters with 2 years of study. After that, do some literature review, start with something very close to the scope of our research. For example, from the cases in malaysia, before looking in cases in east asia, then asia, and the world. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">***Knowing the expert in the field can be very helpful in doing literature review. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">Be specific of your statement of problem (research gap)- this is where people value the significant of your research.</span><br>
<span style="font-size:1.00em;">Be specific of your limitation - explain your scope of research. </span><br>
<span style="font-size:1.00em;">Define your terms precisely and make sure it reflect your research objective - help people to understand your research.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">Then, decide your methodology. This should be based on your literature review as well. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">So, let me introduce you the type of research in general. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">In general, there are 3 types of research known as Fundamental Research, Applied Research, Action Research and .</span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">Fundamental research (basic research) is QUALITATIVE in nature. It is explanatory and usually conducted to come up with new theories or method or model. In other words, it is inductive research. From these new findings, the quantitative research can be done to explore more about the theory or model, or to proof it. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">Applied research and Action research are QUANTITATIVE in nature. However, applied research is exploratory, and action research is descriptive. </span></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">Action research are evaluative, investigative, and analytical in nature, designed to diagnose problem or weaknesses. It is usually conducted to solve a particular problem and produce guidelines for best pratice. The process of conducting an action research includes gathering info (define & describe problem, as well as the participants), interprete & explain. Eg: analyse current intervention (Look at the areas of success, as well as the issues and problem with that particular intervention), and formulate solution to the problems. </span></p><p dir="ltr">
</p><p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size:1.00em;">Applied research on the other hand usually conducted to solve a problem, and focus more on the knowledge that can be useful in making decisions. It is more solution specific. It is deductive, in which it explores the suggested hypothesis.</span></p><p dir="ltr"><br></p><p dir="ltr">Don't be afraid of starting something new. All we need in the journey is a never ending exploration. Makin banyak kita explore, makin bertambahlah knowledge kita, lalu semakin meningkatlah keyakinan diri kita. </p>
Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-4511502135544493602018-07-31T23:25:00.001+08:002018-11-11T22:50:11.957+08:00ISTIDRAJ: Kurniaan tanpa Nikmat<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">Syarah 75 (Al-Hikam): KURNIAAN YANG MENJADI ISTIDRAJ</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">Takutlah kamu terhadap kurniaan Allah S.W.T yang selalu kamu perolehi sedangkan kamu melanggar perintahNya, jangan sampai kurniaan itu semata-mata istidraj. (Syeikh Ibn 'Atha'illah as- Sakandari)</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">Firman Allah S.W.T dalam surah al-A'raf, ayat 182: </span><br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">Kami akan binasakan mereka perlahan-lahan dengan jalan yang mereka tidak sedar.</span><br>
<br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">Istidraj: Kurniaan tanpa nikmat</span><br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">Kurniaan yg membuatkan kita bertambah lalai dan derhaka kepada Allah. Lupa bahawa segala yang kita nikmati di dunia ni datangnya daripada Allah.</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">Bahayanya fikiran sebegini: 'Aku tak solat, tak berdoa pun rezeki tetap bertambah-tambah.' (contoh)</span><br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">Apabila kelalaian dan kederhakaan mereka telah melampaui batas maka Allah s.w.t mendatangkan bala yang besar kepada mereka. Mereka adalah umpama orang yang diangkat ke tempat yang tinggi sambil mereka menganggap pengangkatan itu sebagai satu kemuliaan namun, setelah mereka berada di tempat yang tinggi itu mereka dicampakkan ke bawah. Kejatuhan yang demikian memberi kesakitan yang lebih kuat.</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">Firman Allah s.w.t dalam Surah al-An'aam ayat 44:</span><br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">Kemudian apabila mereka melupakan apa yang telah diperingatkan mereka dengannya, Kami bukakan kepada mereka pintu-pintu segala kemewahan dan kesenangan, sehingga apabila mereka bergembira dan bersukaria dengan segala nikmat yang diberikan kepada mereka, Kami timpakan mereka secara mengejut (dengan bala bencana yang membinasakan), maka mereka pun berputus asa (dari mendapat sebarang pertolongan).</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">In a nutshell, </span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">1. Sentiasa berhati-hati agar kesenangan </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;">dan kemewahan tidak melalaikan kita lalu menjatuhkan kita ke dalam suasana istidraj.</span><br>
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms", sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">2. Kurniaan Allah itu (rezeki) satu peringatan. Yang menjadikan hilangnya nikmat dalam kurniaan itu adalah kelalaian kita untuk bersyukur, lalu leka tenggelam dalam kesenangan yang disangkakan nikmat.</span><br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">3. Sentiasa beringat bahawa Allah sentiasa bersama kita walau di mana kita berada. Justeru, setiap kali kita dikurniakan kesenangan itu, perkara pertama yang kita rasa adalah kesyukuran kepada Allah.</span><br>
<br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">Wallahua'lam.</span><br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">Sumber:</span><br>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: trebuchet ms, sans-serif;">Terjemahan Al-Hikam: Pendekatan Pengabdian Pada Khaliq oleh Syeikh Ibn Atho'ilah as-Sakandary</span><br>
<div>
<br></div>
Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-40414791450569136822018-07-31T23:19:00.000+08:002018-07-31T23:27:16.877+08:00Merendah diri-Tawadhuk-Modesty<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Assalamualaikum, minna-san~ </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Di kesempatan kali ini, aku ingin berkongsi tentang tawadhuk atau merendah diri, or <i>modesty</i> berdasarkan Syarah Al-Hikam daripada Syeikh Ibn Atho'illah as-Sakandary dan <i>Quick Grasp of Faith by Harun Yahya. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Syeikh Ibn Atho'ilah as-Sakandary membincangkan tentang sifat tawadhukatau merendah diri ini dalam syarah ke 250-253.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">250. Siapa yang merasa diri bertawadhuk, maka bererti ia benar-benar sombong, sebab tidak mungkin dia merasa tawadhuk kecuali kalau ia merasa besar/tinggi, kerana itu bila engkau menetapkan bahawa dirimu itu besar/tinggi, maka benar-benar engkau telah sombong (mutakabbir). Maka apabila engkau menetapkan dirimu bertawadhuk (merendah diri) yakni padahal engkau itu seorang besar dan tinggi, maka itu bererti engkau benar-benar telah sombong (mutakabbir).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">251. Bukan orang yang tawadhuk itu, seorang yang bila bertawadhuk lalu merasa bahawa ia telah merendahkan dirinya, tetapi orang yang tawadhuk itu adalah yang bila berbuat sesuatu merasa diri belum layak mendapatkan kedudukan itu.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">252. Hakikat tawadhuk (tawadhuk yang bersungguh-sungguhnya) ialah yang timbul kerana melihat/ memperhatikan kebesaran Allah, dan terbukanya sifat-sifat Allah. Tawadhuk dalam pendapat ahli tauhid, adalah kesombongan sebab siapa yang merasa dirinya ada kemuliaan dan kedudukan, maka perasaan yang demikian itulah kesombongan.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">253. Tidak ada sesuatu yang dapat mengeluarkan (melepaskan) engkau daripada sifat kesombonganmu, kecuali jika engkau melihat sifat-sifat Allah.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>On the other hand, Harun Yahya discussed about modesty in the 1st question of Quick Grasp of Faith 2.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>1. What does modesty signify in believers? </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Modesty is mentioned in the Qur'an as an important attribute of believers. Allah, in His verses, commands believers to be modest. It is also related in Qur'anic verses that Allah does not love those who are haughty and boastful. Believers are those who are aware of the fact that Allah is the Creator and the only Lord of everything, and that it is He Who bestows His blessings on mankind. A believer is cognisant of his weakness before Allah, and therefore never displays an unjust arrogance. No matter how beautiful, how rich, how intelligent or how esteemed he may be, he does not boast of these things, because he knows that it is Allah Who grants them to him. For that reason his behaviour towards other believers is also modest. He does not try to emphasise his own abilities or good features; he expects the recompense for all he does only from Allah. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Contrary to the arrogance of unbelievers, believers behave with a humility, which is also reflected in their appearance. The modesty of their manner is described in the following verse: </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>The servants of the All-Merciful are those who walk lightly on the earth [i.e., with dignity but without arrogance] and, who, when the ignorant speak to them, say, "Peace". (Surat al-Furqan: 63) </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>As a result of this attitude, Allah gives believers the glad tidings of Paradise: </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"… Your God is One God so submit to Him. Give good news to the humble-hearted." (Surat al-Hajj: 34)</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Tricky, isn't it? </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Bila kita merasakan bahawa kita telah merendahkan diri atau being humble hanya kerana kita merendahkan perasaan tinggi diri (rasa bagus) atau merasa mulia, sebenarnya, itulah hakikat kesombongan dan itulah yang dimaksudkan dengan takabbur, sebagaimana sabda Rasulullah s.a.w yang bermaksud;</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Sombong itu adalah menolak kebenaran dan menghina orang lain."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Menghina orang lain, biarpun tidak secara zahir, disebabkan merasa diri tinggi atau mulia.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Selagi kita tidak memperhatikan dan ingat selalu kepada sifat ketuhanan, kebesaran dan kekuasaan Allah, selagi itulah kita merasa besar, dan bongkak. Selagi kita tidak melihat sifat kesempurnaan Allah, maka selagi itulah kita tidak mengakui kekurangan-kekurangan atau kehambaan diri kita kepada Allah. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lalu tanpa kita sedar, kita sebenarnya sedang takabbur. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Jadi, kita perlu sentiasa ingat bahawa setiap kebaikan yang ada pada kita semuanya datangnya dari Allah. Malah kita ni pun adalah ciptaanNya. Jadi, adakah wajar bagi kita untuk bersikap sombong dengan apa yang kita miliki?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sumber:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Terjemahan Al-Hikam: Pendekatan Pengabdian Pada Khaliq oleh Syeikh Ibn Atho'ilah as-Sakandary</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Quick Grasp of Faith 2 by Harun Yahya.</i> </span></div>
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Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-20290364301790126222018-05-20T13:08:00.001+08:002018-07-31T23:19:17.454+08:00Blame<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">With all the better mediums like facebook, twitter, instagram, which has better visibility, some wonders why am i sticking to blogging. It's simple. There are only 2 types of people who read my blog. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">1. Those who are interested in knowing about what has been going on in my life.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">2. Random people.</span></div>
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***</div>
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<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">When it seems too easy for me to say "i'm at fault or i'm sorry.", some said or maybe mad at me, "why are YOU sorry? How come it's so easy for you to say sorry when u're the least to blame?". </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Hmm...blame, huh.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">When things go wrong in our lives, it's easier to find someone/something else to blame instead of finding what went wrong in our actions or decisions. But guess what, everything that happen in our lives, depends on our own decision that leads to it. We hardly admit it. Unexpected things happen, yea, unexpectedly, but as long as we know that the most important thing is only all that matters, we'll be more rational. </span><span style="font-size: 1em;">You keep on with those 'blame games', there's no ending to it. In the end, the relationship becomes sour, and everyone start going through it just end it, or wrap everything up and start a new thing with different people.</span></div>
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***</div>
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<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">How am I doing nowadays?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 1.00em;">Still studying and trying to be something or at least finding something that i want to do or to be but stil, nothing. I am still nothing. </span></div>
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My study?</div>
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<span style="font-size: 1em;">My next presentation has been scheduled for this Wednesday, the Research Methodology presentation, which is supposed to be done before the proposal defense. In my case, there were changes here and there in the system, and, here i am, one of the victims of bureaucracy. It's not a big deal, though. For UNIMAS Master Degree by Research, we need to do 3 presentations and of course submit 1 dissertation of our theses, apart from the progress reports we need to submit every semester. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 1em;">Chronologically, we have to attend two-days Research Methodology courses in our 1st semester, then do the RM presentation to make sure that we understand research methodology. It plays a big role in determining the quality of our researches, after all. Then, within 6 months after registration, we have to get done with our proposal defense. This will determine the significance of our research, whether it's worthy or not, in a sense of filling the gap between the previous researches. After that, get our researches done, submit our theses, and wait for viva, the big wall that we need to climb before getting our degree. </span></div>
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The only thing I can comment about the journey, 'I'm doing my best, as always.'</div>
Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-13355377157388013102018-01-30T00:17:00.001+08:002019-02-22T19:47:38.568+08:00ImpatienceIn Harun Yahya's Quick Grasp of Faith 3,<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
66. Do such concepts as impatience and despair have a place in a believer’s life? </blockquote>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Allah advises the faithful to be patient in times of difficulty, as follows:<br />
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O You who believe. Be steadfast, be supreme in steadfastness, be firm on the battlefield, and heed Allah so that hopefully you will be successful. (Surah Al `Imran, 200)<br />
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Allah advises believers to be steadfast when they face hardship. The believers use their intellect, as well as all material and spiritual means, and do their utmost to overcome difficulties. In addition, knowing that hardships are special conditions that Allah creates to test them and that there is an absolute good hidden behind these events, they trust Allah, for this is essential to their continued steadfastness. The believers’ explicit trust that Allah creates every event with absolute wisdom, and that He will remove these difficulties by answering their prayers, prevents them from experiencing despair, hopelessness, and similar negative feelings.<br />
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In "Say: ‘My servants, you who have transgressed against yourselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Truly Allah forgives all wrong actions. He is the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Merciful,’" (Surat az-Zumar, 53) Allah commands the believers not to despair of His mercy, no matter what happens.</blockquote>
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*****<br />
<br />
My life doesn't seems like it move forward since the day I graduated. So, I decided to further my study after 1 year doing carpentering job with my brother, and 1 and a half year working for my community. Unfortunately, as I started my postgraduate studies, the government did not give any sponsorship anymore for my field of study. It might seems like I do not have any problem with it, but actually, I have been struggling. Research expenses is not little. Plus, the fees. Having been through this, I occasionally lose my motivation. I thought about quitting so many times. In the environment where people mostly think about themselves, doesn't bother caring about others, I do think that life is unfair, sometimes. But then, in my heart, I know well that life is short to waste on grievance. I still believe that Allah has better plan for His servant. <br />
<br />
Getting impatient and despair are not wrong. What makes it wrong is that we keep on living with those feeling. Without trying to get out from those situation. <br />
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Allah beri kita apa yang kita perlukan untuk hidup sebaiknya dan peringatan yang berterusan. Sesetengah orang dilimpahi dengan kekayaan, bersama kekurangan dalam hidup, seperti hidup berjauhan dari suami, belum diberikan zuriat, dan sebagainya. Kenapa? Allah beri sesuatu untuk kita bersyukur...dan dilambatkan sesuatu nikmat, untuk kita terus berdoa dan tidak lupa pada-Nya. Cuba saja Allah berikan segala kehendak kita, tidak mustahil kita lupa pada Allah, lalu lalai dan leka dengan dunia. Hasilnya, kebahagiaan yang kita hadapi di dunia menjadi punca kecelakaan kehidupan di akhirat.<br />
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نعوذ بالله من ذلك. <br />
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Makanya, jangan berputus asa atas sesuatu yang belum kita kecapi, kerana Allah punya perancangan yang baik untuk kita. Aku menghadapi banyak kegagalan dalam hidup..dan di sepanjang perjalanan inilah aku mendidik rasa percaya kepada aturan Allah dan berfikiran positif. Setiap kali gagal atau bersedih, aku selalu pujuk diri sendiri, "mungkin usaha dan doa aku masih kurang, atau mungkin aku masih meragui rezeki Allah." <br />
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Dalam setiap langkah perjalanan kita di bumi Allah ini, Dia sertakan sebab untuk kita bersyukur dan berdoa memohon pertolongan-Nya. <br />
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Sekali lagi...<br />
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Satu pengharapan yang tidak pernah putus tu hanya dapat diraih jika disandarkan kepada YANG TIDAK MATI.<br />
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Wallahua'lam.<br />
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Dil, 00:17, 29012018Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-45603793912210795022018-01-04T18:35:00.000+08:002018-06-25T13:41:15.629+08:00Takdir<p dir="ltr">Happy New Year, everyone...<br></p>
<p dir="ltr">Hidup ni kena percaya pada Qada' dan Qadar Allah. Tak la stress2 hidup tak tenang. Percaya kepada Qada' dan Qadar Allah tu merupakan Rukun iman yang ke-6. Tengok, nice kan ajaran Islam. Kalau kita ikut, insyaAllah, kita boleh merasa nikmat kebahagiaan.<br></p>
<p dir="ltr">Beriman atau percaya kepada qada dan qadar itu bermaksud percaya dengan sepenuh hati bahawa Allah telah menentukan segala sesuatu yang akan terjadi untuk mahluknya (qada dan qadar).<br></p>
<p dir="ltr">Setiap manusia telah diciptakan dengan ketentuan sejak azali lagi. Takdir ni ada 2 jenis, iaitu;<br></p>
<p dir="ltr">1.Takdir Muallaq<br></p>
<p dir="ltr">Takdir muallaq yaitu takdir yang masih dapat diubah dengan usaha atau ikhtiar. Contohnya, kalau nak berjaya, kena berusaha, nak kaya, kena bekerja. Dan juga jodoh pun perlu diusahakan. Allah takkan mengubah nasib sesuatu kaum itu sehingga mereka mau mengubah nasib mereka sendiri. (Ar-Ra'd: 11) <br></p>
<p dir="ltr">2. Takdir Mubran<br></p>
<p dir="ltr">Takdir mubran yaitu takdir yang tidak dapat diubah. Contohnya, MATI. Syarat mati itu bukan sakit, tapi hidup.<br>
Dengan beriman/ percaya kepada Qada' dan Qadar, kita akan lebih bersyukur kepada Allah, menjadi lebih dekat kepada-Nya, dan turut menjadikan kita orang yang sentiasa berusaha dan tidak berputus asa. Selain tu, kita akan mendapat ketenangan, jauh dari sifat sombong, dan sentiasa bersabar dan bertawakkal lepada Allah.<br><br></p>
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<p dir="ltr">Misc: Epilog Q<br></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ya. Sebelum ni aku pernah betul-betul suka dekat sorang insan bernama Wafdan. For many years. Suami aku ni adalah cinta keduaku, dan insyaAllah yg terakhir buatku. <br></p>
<p dir="ltr">Wafdan. Aku suka dia sejak di bangku sekolah, tapi aku mulai sedar yang aku betul2 serius mencintainya semasa aku buat degree. Kalau ditanya kenapa aku suka dia, aku pun tak tau. Nak kata hensem, sejujurnya, suami aku ni lagi hensem. Tambah comel dengan lesung pipit di pipi. Nak kata sebab dia sweet, memang tak la. Orang kata, cinta itu datang tiba-tiba. Unexpectedly, towards unexpected someone. Dan masa tu, Wafdan bagiku. Perasaanku tak pernah goyah. Ada saja jejaka yang ingin berkenalan dengan aku, tapi aku punya setia tu, sangatlah tak bertempat. Nak kata aku 'in a relationship dengan Wafdan', tak juga. Sehinggalah Shu@Lutfi jumpa ibu dan ayahku. Masa tu, aku tak boleh nak reject senang2. Aku sedar, perasaan bukan lagi sekadar saluran kebahagiaan, tapi dokumentari kehidupan. <br></p>
<p dir="ltr">Masa aku terima suami aku ni pun, perasaanku pada Wafdan masih bersisa. It has been years after all. Orang kata, kalau kita keep on doing certain things tu, boleh jadi habit. Mungkin itu yang terjadi padaku. Hatiku dah terbiasa mencintainya. Sehinggalah aku baca diari suamiku hari tu. Member aku pernah cakap, to be with someone who really loves you is better than being with someone you love. Dan untuk aku, that someone adalah my Mr. Right, Shu@Lutfi. <br></p>
<p dir="ltr">I love you, Shu. May Allah bless our marriage, till jannah. InsyaAllah.<br><br></p>
<p dir="ltr">#misc #epilogQ</p>
Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-2763330910589089292017-12-31T23:59:00.000+08:002018-07-24T13:32:17.649+08:00Year-End Rant: My 2017My 2017.<br />
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2017 has been a really tiring yet rewarding year.<br />
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Career. I changed job, still not a permanent one. I met many kind of people, mostly academicians and researchers, and they are all inspiring. Advising me to pursue academic/ research, but I just can't see myself as one in the future. Completed my own research activities and started with journal articles and thesis writing. As if. 😂 Yea, I did completed it in fact, but somehow, as I wrote my thesis, I found out that there is something wrong/ lack in my research. So, I've decided to improve and recollect the data. However, I am not going to waste my previous data. I am still working on the papers I planned to produce with the data. Research is fun, without restriction, with freedom. I went to many underserved villages and learn so much. Suffer as much. 😂 Even so, it motivates me to give. Through knowledge.<br />
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Time flies. Love fades.<br />
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Love. The fact that he's still the only one i have ever loved is wonderful. Blame my stubborn heart. All the moments we spent together, and every little words he ever said sticks in my mind, thus, i didn't realize that time flies. Love is space and time measured by the heart. But for us, it was unmeasurable, coz i was the only one with space in my heart for him. I am. There has yet the second. Seeing him still change my heart rythm. Keep being like this, and it'll become a habit. In fact, it already is. Loving him. Since when did our path become so parallel that it seems like it'll never cross each other. More than a decade passed, and I am still filled with both love and hesitation.<br />
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Izinkan aku memetik kata-kata ini untuk yang kedua kalinya: (tahun ni kurang baca buku, banyak baca journal article je, so, xde quotation baru...haha)<br />
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“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” <br />
― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym. <br />
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“Happiness is not the absence of problems; it's the ability to deal with them.” <br />
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free.<br />
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2017. Tried to be as positive as i can, everyday. Always. And will keep on doing so. And this year, i'm healthier than the year before. Spent less time with family, thus often get homeSICK. 😁 Gain weight, BMI still ideal. Experienced the worst sunburn in my life, as well. That was very bad. Ruined my skin, but I care less about it than about getting a real job. But somehow, 2017 was satisfying in overall. I am going to work harder to find a real stable job. Wish me all the best, everyone!<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
*****</div>
<br />
Hari ini<br />
Kau berfikir kenapa kau kerja separuh mati<br />
Berjaga sehingga dinihari<br />
Tapi tidak dihargai<br />
Yang dapat hanya caci maki<br />
<br />
Completed study, waaa i'm happy<br />
Now i'm an adult, so, i'm free<br />
Those feeling remains in your memory<br />
U feel like life is cruel? Yea it can be...<br />
<br />
Kau dah berkerja tetap, mengeluh setiap hari<br />
Padahal di luar sana ramai yang masih mencari<br />
Awal dapat kerja dulu bukan ka kau dah janji?<br />
Nak kerja elok2 nak bangunkan diri<br />
<br />
This is not a grievance, not even slightly<br />
Just a reminder on how to be happy<br />
Life shouldn't be full of dissatisfaction, but with positivity<br />
Yea, we know each individual differs in their personality<br />
But optimism drives you forward, don't you agree?<br />
<br />
Kau ingat boleh jadi optimis hari ini lepas berdoa malam tadi?<br />
Kau ingat fikiran positif itu ada dijual beli?<br />
Tidak, pemikiran ni kita bentuk sendiri, dengan mendidik hati <br />
Yea, tak usah cari sana sini, dah ada dalam diri<br />
INSYAALAH mudah jika disirami dengan percaya pada Ilahi.<br />
<br />
<br />
*Yes, i compiled my fb posts. 😂<br />
<br />
<br />
*****<br />
<br />
Dunia akhir zaman<br />
<br />
Umatnya<br />
<br />
Terjerat dalam perangkap materialism<br />
Hanyut melayari bahtera kekayaan yang mempesona<br />
Terperangkap dalam sangkar hedonism<br />
Lantas kecundang dalam penipuan dunia.<br />
<br />
<br />
It's a wrap! So, the end of my 2017 was well spent with both friends and relatives.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMqnxczS-VAcl6L9RIUQ0Zs8X7z_HhzeQ4xuwiUz0qGAUBQp4lbqjq8_fLGlk7ui4k_J2An4lFbxU0T2MBc6r1GeKWLceyNrqmtD8nWkOHAe_ACnbwvUPTTdCsHCBeeg8zUQ-IYaKu1mY/s1600/collage-2017-12-31.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1024" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMqnxczS-VAcl6L9RIUQ0Zs8X7z_HhzeQ4xuwiUz0qGAUBQp4lbqjq8_fLGlk7ui4k_J2An4lFbxU0T2MBc6r1GeKWLceyNrqmtD8nWkOHAe_ACnbwvUPTTdCsHCBeeg8zUQ-IYaKu1mY/s400/collage-2017-12-31.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo credit: Everyone else. 😂</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
*****^_^*****<br />
<br />
2018's resolution?<br />
<br />
To do my best in everything and live my life to the fullest.<br />
<br />
<br />Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-43328182778105163182017-10-22T00:13:00.000+08:002019-04-07T19:30:03.661+08:00DoubtAssalamualaikum semua.<br />
<br />
Dah lama aku tak jenguk blog ni. Walaupun ada banyak perkara yang aku nak share...lain kali la k...kali ni aku nak merapu je. <br />
<br />
Nak dijadikan cerita, aku rasa aku sekarang ni punya self-esteem yang sangat low. Bagi yang mengikuti perkembangan aku, mungkin dah kenal aku ni macam mana, dan macam mana aku deal dengan different situations. And one of them is to talk in front of the audience. Masa aku keja di telecentre dulu, aku rilek je bagi talk depan 300++ audience. Tapi, lepas daripada proposal defense hari tu, aku dah tak yakin setiap kali nak membuat pembentangan. That was a traumatic experience for me. <br />
<br />
Aku baru lepas hadiri conference sempena UNIMAS silver jubilee as one of the presenters. Ntah mcm mana la paper aku yg tidak bagus tu boleh dipanggil untuk dibentangkan. Itu satu misteri. So, as expected, i was not as ethusiastic to present the paper. Dengan trauma dari PD, ditambah tiada motivasi dan tak yakin dengan paper tu, aku present like it's not so important. Supervisor aku tanya kwn2 aku sama ada diorg dah ready tak untuk presentation paper masing2. Tapi dia langsung tak tanya aku. Don't get me wrong. I trust my supervisor's decision to let me be independent. But dalam keadaan mental aku yang penuh dgn doubt about myself & my work, aku rasa being independent buat aku makin hilang arah, buat aku tertanya-tanya sama ada aku buat benda yang betul...either my SV trust me, or he's not actually interested in my topic. All those thoughts actually lead me to think that i chose the wrong topic and that my research is not worthy. Yea, suma ni cuma mainan minda. Tapi aku betul2 down.<br />
<br />
Aku ni lepas kerja 2 tahun setengah baru sambung study...of course aku expect ada banyak hurdles yg perlu aku hadapi. Tapi semuanya OK saja. Sbb tu aku doubt my progress. Am I really doing okay?<br />
<br />
Btw, masa conference tu, i didn't manage to answer the questions properly. I regret that. So, i want to answer all those questions here.<br />
<br />
1. What did i meant by 'rural area'?<br />
<br />
I didn't expect to be asked this. In my research context, the rural area is the underserved area located around at least 30 minutes from the town. However, the sample population i'm going to study are the villages that has been provided with ICT facilities (telecentre & internet access) by the government.<br />
<br />
2. Why did i chose kuching and samarahan which mostly already has the facilities?<br />
<br />
1stly, I intentionally doing my study in the area with facilities. If i conduct the research in the area which has no facilities, then i might not be able to identify the reason for internet resistance, coz they have no facilities. Then how can they adopt the technology? The reason would definitely be lack of facility then. Instead, if i did my research in the area with facility, they are many information i can get, including to assess the effectiveness of the intervention itself. I can see the geographical disparities in internet adoption... how their economic activies shape their interest in using internet, and how the intervention help in socioeconomic developement. In addition, moving towards digital economy, the government will provide internet access and improve telecommunication services in the other rural areas. So, it's very important to know the problem now to improve the intervention, therefore it would be impactful from the beginning.<br />
<br />
3. When I talk about economic development, is it about e-commerce/e-marketing?<br />
<br />
Yea, that was part of it. Mainly, the economic development here is depending on the economic activities of the rural community...which is mostly agricultural activities. Of course, e-marketing is part of it, especially on the marketing of the local product, which would give a great impact on the economic development in these rural areas. Besides that, i'm also looking at the impact of internet on employment and income.<br />
<br />
4. Did i really find the negative impact of internet?<br />
<br />
The impact of internet adoption is depending on how they use the internet. Based on my observation and literature, as well as interviews with some community members, there are positive & negative impact of it.<br />
<br />
A. Education<br />
The internet give a positive impact to the learning behaviour and academic performance through e-learning. But, the overusage of internet by the student on games or other entertainment give a negative impact in their academic performance. This is part of how some parents see telecentre in a negative way.<br />
<br />
B. Economic.<br />
There is no negative impact in the economic perspective of the local community.<br />
<br />
C. Healthcare<br />
Positive impact: information-seeking (KKM fb)<br />
Negative impact: wrong information-seeking. Looking for 'petua2' that was not confirmed to be right. Rely on information from internet or google to look for a cure instead of going to the clinic.<br />
<br />
They are just a few negative cases. Most of the rural people trust clinical treatment more and know that the information from the internet is unreliable when it comes to healthcare.<br />
<br />
D. Social<br />
Positive: youth community (gather youth with same interest to find a way to be productive using their interest, such as busking, videography, photography, business & etc., communication, social relation, etc.<br />
Negative: too much exposure to other culture which influence the younger generation. Eg: pornography, drugs & violence.<br />
<br />
The negative social impact of internet were mostly commented by the older generation.<br />
<br />
<br />
That's it. Except for the 1st question, the answer for the other 3 was in my mind during the presentation. But somehow, i cannot say it out. I just want to get my session done with. Prof. N's comments during my PD keeps on rewinding in my head.<br />
<br />
I would like to apologize to everyone who was there during my presentation.<br />
<br />
I am going to remember my failure, always. So that i keep on improving myself. I must. But somehow i don't see myself improving. Will i be okay?Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-823393830277682682017-06-29T00:38:00.001+08:002019-04-07T22:58:11.313+08:00M Soc. Sc. Journey<p dir="ltr">Study plan for 2nd year (Final year)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Tetibe je study plan utk 2nd year...1st year dulu x buat pun. Teehee..</p>
<p dir="ltr">Sem 3 2016/2017<br>
1. Data analysis for 1st data collection - Pilot test done!<br>
2. Improve my research instrument.<br>
3. Getting myself familiar with the reporting template and prepare the template for data analysis report for my thesis writing later on.<br>
4. 2nd data collection. (Actual data collection) -Harap2 ekonomi stabil la untuk tujuan ini. Maklumlah pembiayaan sendiri. Doakan agar dipermudahkan urusan saya ye.<br>
5. Data analysis for 2nd data collection.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Sem 1 2017/2018<br>
1. Journal article writing & submission. (Saya masih x pasti macam mana nak buat artikel ni sebenarnya..maybe sebab i think too much.)<br>
2. Report writing.<br>
3. Thesis writing.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Sem 2 2017/2018<br>
1. Thesis writing & submission.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I know that i'll stuck at thesis writing later on, but i'll do my best to get it right from the beginning, or maybe to minimize the error.</p>
<p dir="ltr">*****</p>
<p dir="ltr">While i am at it, i would like to share my opinion about pursuing master degree for those who plan to.</p>
<p dir="ltr">This is just my opinion.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Doing master by coursework is a better choice instead of doing master by research. Coursework offers a wide range of knowledge in your field and it's very useful for your career development. In contrast, in master by research mode, you're only required to do research and publish your journal article. You don't have classes and you manage your own study/ research. You need to discipline yourself as you have no attendance to fulfilled, no assisgnment, but only your research. For those who don't think you can discipline yourself, don't ever think of doing master by research. Or else, it'll take forever for you to finish your study.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The process of doing master by coursework is the same as doing your undegraduate studies. So, for those who are unprepared to encounter changes in your life, master by coursework would be an ideal choice for you. The probability to extend your study is low as you only need to follow your class schedule and do your assignment and examination. On the other hand, extending your study is very common for research student. You prepare your schedule yourself, for your progress (gant chart) and to meet your supervisor. Since you don't have a fixed schedule, please do not think that it's relaxing. You need to communicate as much as possible with your supervisor, to make sure that you're doing the right thing. (Yea...don't be like me. 😅😂)</p>
<p dir="ltr">You really shouldn't waste any of your time. And i shoudn't be using my writing mood here, but for my journal article writing. 😅</p>
<p dir="ltr">As for me, the reason I took master by research  was simply because of the lower fees as compared to master by coursework. I took the risk, huh. I managed to save just enough money for research mode fees, so money is one of the challenges I face during my study. However, for research student, you will need money for data collection and to publish paper. And at the end of your study, to print your thesis. It would be good if you get research grant/ scholarship/ any financial aid. I have been struggling about this matter since I am currently in the phase of data collection. There is NO MyBrain15 for my intake, so, u really need to save up money for your study. (Only for art & humanities courses. MyBrainSc is still alive.) MONEY is my main challenge up to now. N money is the only reason for me to regret my decision to further my study, sometimes. Only when it's hard, though.</p>
<p dir="ltr">So, that's all for now.</p>
Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-42693149587109078692017-06-26T08:21:00.001+08:002017-06-30T00:15:25.743+08:00Social Networking: Social Relationship Assalamualaikum.<br />
Hello world!<br />
<br />
This is in corresponding with my post in 2009, 'Social Networking'. Again, i'm going to discuss about social media and social relationship.<br />
<br />
Everyone knows that social media can be a good thing and also a bad thing, depending on the way we use it. In fact, there are positive and negative aspects in almost everything. For instance, drugs can be a cure, but the misuse of it can bring a disaster. That's quite a simple example.<br />
<br />
Getting used of communicating through social media makes people take the importance of talking with people for granted. We started to express our feeling in social media, instead of talking. One thing about reading messages that differ from listening to it is that we can get the expression wrongly, thus lead to misunderstanding and that's usually how relationship turns bitter. "That's the use of smileys", some of you might think so. (Please, don't be stubborn)<br />
<br />
As we rely more on social media, we forget about the essence of talking, and the reason of communicating. There's no other comunication medium that can be as accurate as talking. So, talk more, and do not rely too much on social media, especially in personal relationship. Listen to each other and do not complicate things through reading each other's expression. <br />
<br />
So, that's all for now.<br />
<br />
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Eid mubarak to all. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNG4QaZiIe5RoDEee4hyGKTRdcO3JmrF-sJO2Em27omF2XyJ4fAhW2WWcvOwtgNuNYAFhmVieJbvpc73MMFOAOIB5rLIou8bv_DxYydGbSscz2J7aYkooi-AleNcmC6JYh2PppJHrYKGU/s1600/IMG-20170625-WA0026.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNG4QaZiIe5RoDEee4hyGKTRdcO3JmrF-sJO2Em27omF2XyJ4fAhW2WWcvOwtgNuNYAFhmVieJbvpc73MMFOAOIB5rLIou8bv_DxYydGbSscz2J7aYkooi-AleNcmC6JYh2PppJHrYKGU/s320/IMG-20170625-WA0026.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
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******<br />
<br />
Prolog<br />
<br />
<br />
"Oh~my girl!" Sapa irfan sambil mendepakan kedua tangannya.<br />
<br />
"Ouch!" Tak sedar kaki Isfa singgah ke kakinya.<br />
Orang ramai di sekeliling memerhati gelagat mereka.<br />
<br />
"Buat apa sini?" Soal Isfa.<br />
<br />
"Ouch. That's hurts. I just returned kot.. Jom lunch. I miss u." Ajak irfan bersahaja.<br />
<br />
"So he said. Bos, saya lunch dengan dia. I have an important lesson to teach this guy." Isfa membunyikan jari-jarinya sambil menjeling ke arah irfan.<br />
<br />
"Huh..it's ok, sir. I just lost my appetite. Take her with u." Lalu berjalan menuju ke kereta.<br />
<br />
"Sorry, sir. I got to go."<br />
<br />
Isfa melajukan langkah, mengejar irfan. Beg tangannya dilibas ke lengan irfan.<br />
<br />
"Adoi!"Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-39639122210123326522017-05-05T00:30:00.000+08:002017-05-05T00:36:11.247+08:00Misc~ Epilog<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Aku Shu. Muhammad Lutfi bin Lim Abdullah. Aku mungkin orang yang paling memahami Qaisara. Seumur hidup aku yang baru 25 tahun ni, ruang istimewa di hatiku hanya ada dia, sebagaimana di hatinya hanya ada Wafdan. We share the same love experience. Fall deeply in love with someone from the 1st time we ever learn to have that feeling until now. </span><br />
<br style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Bagi aku, Q yang pertama dan terakhir. The fact that she love Wafdan one-sidedly hurt me more than knowing that she never had any feeling towards me. Sebab aku faham bagaimana rasanya. Tapi, Q yang setia mencintai seorang lelaki tu yang aku suka, walaupun lelaki tu bukan aku. Aku cuba sampaikan perasaanku beberapa kali, tapi sentiasa ditolak dengan baik. Mau saja aku kasi 1 penumbuk kat Wafdan. Siapakah Wafdan sampaikan aku yang macho sado lagi bergaya ni pun dia tolak? Just kidding.</span><br />
<br style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Siang tadi, aku terserempak dengan Q. Ok..itu tipu. Aku tau sekarang dia pelatih kaunseling di sini. Jadi aku saja nak tengok dia..dari jauh. Kalau dekat sangat nanti berdebar pula jantungku. Kalau bunyi best macam Pete Ray's drum sound takpe la jugak.</span><br />
<br style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Q sedang bercakap dengan seorang pelajar perempuan. Tiba-tiba dia menoleh dan ternampak aku. Bila mata bertentangan... </span><br />
<br style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kemudian dia menaip something di HP nya. Notifikasi HP ku berbunyi seketika kemudian. Whatsapp dari dia.</span><br />
<br style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'Shu, what's up? Nak jumpe sy ke? Kejap ye. Dah nak selesai ni.'</span><br />
<br style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Haih..boleh pula dia men HP time tengah session. Alamak. Tadi plan nak tengok dari jauh je. Aku rasa nak lari..tapi rasa nak stay jugak. Aku fikir punya lama nak lari ke stay sampai dia selesai sesi dan keluar dari biliknya dan berjalan menuju aku. Ek..bila dia dtg jmpa aku, tak pula aku berdebar. </span><br />
<br style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kami borak macam biasa. Ya, kami kawan. Aku takla kecewa dengan hakikat yang kami hanya kawan. It can't be helped. Q pernah cakap, 'being in love with Wafdan somehow became a habit. Unconciously.' Mungkin macam tu juga la aku rasa kat dia. Mencintainya dah jadi habit. </span><br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Q,</span><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of all the things u can steal from me, why must it be my heart</span>?</blockquote>
<br />
<br style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Ehem. Buat apa tu?" Sapa Lutfi yang berdiri di muka pintu.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Qaisara mengangkat diari Lutfi. "Reading." Jawabnya.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"What? Oh my wife, sayang... Punya banyak lagi buku di rak tu, kenapa la diari ni jugak awak nak baca?" Lalu menutup diari di tangan Q.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Buku-buku tu saya dah habis baca." Ujar Q.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Oh ya? Takpe. Nanti saya beli satu rak lagi dengan buku-buku baru. Jom gerak." Ajak Lutfi. "Isfa minta awak datang awal kan?" Sambungnya lagi. </span><br />
<br style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Qaisara hanya diam lalu bangun dari kerusi dan mengejar Lutfi yang tergesa-gesa keluar dari bilik dengan muka merah.</span><br />
<br style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Abang, I have developed a new habit." Ujar Q sambil bergerak beriringan menuju ke kereta.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Ya? Apa dia?" Tanya Lutfi sambil menekan butang unlock keretanya. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Feeling happy for being loved by u."</span><br />
<br style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" />Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-34658185688883585822017-05-03T15:39:00.000+08:002019-04-07T19:37:15.057+08:00RamblingAssalamualaikum.<br>
<br>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Hi everyone. I'm now 27 years old. 27 years old on 27th April 2017. Sounds good... People said, woman around my age don't really like talking about age. But i'm one of those who do not care about it. As i grow older, i feel grateful. Being someone with a bad health, i'm really grateful to live another day in my life.<br>
<br></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
How are you? I hope everyone is fine and doing your best to make everyday in your life the best day. As i'm always trying to.</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
Are you having a hard time? I don't think i'm the right person to respond to that situation. This few months, i too, having quite a hard time...by myself. Even so, if u're having a hard time, i hope you can talk to someone about it. Especially your family. Your family would want you to talk and rely on them. As for me, i endured well. Healed myself. I am not expressive about my own feeling after all. I distract myself with working, teaching, and studying. When i tried to talk with someone, i always ended up listening. Maybe that's why, it become harder to talk about myself with anyone. It's good though...i can at least be of help to someone. 😀</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: justify;">
To achieve something, instead of waiting for good fortune or talent, one should put in endless efforts and must go through hardships. It ain't over 'til it's over.</blockquote>
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Once, in a motivational talk, I talk about CHANGE. With just a small change in our perspective/ way of thinking, we can gain a bit more confidence and motivation. It can change our lives. I too, have so many weakness. I am introvert. I'm uncomfortable with crowds. I'm scared of many things. One thing that makes me feel better despite those weaknesses is, it makes me realize that i have people who understand me. People who will stand beside me unconditionally. Someone who would offer to help and cheer me when i need to be in crowds and talk in front of many people. Someone who didn't feel bad about me rejecting their phone call. Someone who patiently sit with me and bear with my silence and try to make me talk without forcing me. Even with all those weaknesses, I live with gratefulness. They are the strength Allah gives me to help me with my weaknesses.<br>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. </blockquote>
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Surah Al-Insyirah, 5- 6</div>
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So what if u have a weakness? Or more than one. We can try to change. If it's too hard, it's fine not to change. We can just learn how to cope in those situations. I remember my 1st talk with the community. I held the microphone with both hands. The kids who sat in front of me asked:<br>
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"Kak, ktk mok belagu ka?" (Are u going to sing?)<br>
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I smiled.<br>
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The next time it happen, i responded,<br>
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"Aok..ktk mok request lagu pa?" (Yea, what song do u want to request?) and the crowds laughed.<br>
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Until today, i am still uncomfortable and nervous in crowds. It's a situation that i will avoid as long as i can. But if it's unavoidable, i'll just go through it. Being responsible is more important than being comfortable.<br>
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You want to live an easy life? Then, don't expect anything. Don't do anything. Every expectation comes with hardwork. Hopes or wishes come with effort. Dream or ambition comes with determination and diligence.<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="text-align: justify;">What's important isn't trying not to trip/ fall, but how quickly u can get back up.</span></div>
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About my study....<br>
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In fact, deep inside my heart, i'm giving up. But i know that i shouldn't actually give up...for my parents and my supervisor. So, i'll just walk through the path. It's quite hard though. I feel like throwing up everytime i study and do my research. I'll just endure and end this properly.<br>
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I can't clearly see the path ahead me.<br>
Unsure of what's tomorrow will have waiting for me.<br>
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In life, a refresh is essential.<br>
Indeed.<br>
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Sulaman rindu pada hati yang meraih cinta Pencipta<br>
Bisikan redha demi mengejar sebuah halawatul iman<br>
Cipta grafiti cinta berseni hakiki penuh makna<br>
Indah terlakar dalam tiupan ketenangan<br>
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***<br>
Aku mengukir makna dalam tarian tinta<br>
Memanggil inspirasi dalam grafiti cinta<br>
Memadam khayalan kaburi aspirasi hati<br>
Mengamati ritma hidup, bermeditasi.<br>
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*******************</div>
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Since when did our path become so parallel that it seems like it'll never crossed each other. I tried as much as I can, but it's hard to express my feeling. I hesitated, many times. A decade passed, and I'm still filled with both love and hesitation. I never expect that 'I love u' is such a hard word to say.<br>
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Signifikankah aku di hatimu?<br>
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I wonder, would my feeling ended up being like a tennis tournament. Coz in tennis, 'love' is 0 (zero).</div>
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Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-63880164090953776462017-04-27T23:45:00.000+08:002019-04-07T19:38:30.205+08:00Dilemma<p dir="ltr">'Huuuuhhh'...badan dihempas ke atas katil sebelah. </p>
<p dir="ltr">Katil sendiri penuh dengan instrumen kajian yang bertaburan, nota dan laptop. Kalau mak nampak...</p>
<p dir="ltr">'Tempat tidur kakak ni dikemas macam mana sekalipun, akan jadi macam tongkang pecah juga.' Terngiang-ngiang suara merdu mak di telingaku.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Itu boleh dikatakan dialog mingguan mak. Cuma sedikit berubah olahan ayatnya. Kata kunci masih sama. Indeed, mak aku konsisten orangnya. 👍👍👍</p>
<p dir="ltr">Bangun. Duduk. Tersenyum sendiri. Lalu bangkit mengemas katil. Instrumen dan nota disusun dan diletakkan di atas meja. Cadar yang terbuka dipasang semula. Kemudian, aku baring di katil sendiri yang sudah kemas, indah tersusun rapi. Siap wangi dengan wangian Febreze. Berbau bersih dan segar.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Oh ya, sekarang, mejaku pula penuh. 😅</p>
<p dir="ltr">Aku kembali sibuk berfikir dan menelaah.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Selepas lebih sejam menelaah artikel-artikel jurnal, aku baring seketika. Fikir tentang hidup.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Aku a bit anxious lately. I can't see myself as anything in the future. Tak tau aku suka apa dan nak jadi apa. Tak ada so-called cita-cita n passion. So, i thought i should just do my best in the present...for whatever comes in my life. Even if it's something new, we can learn and do it. Even if it's hard for us, we can force ourselves to complete the task. We all do the same, right?</p>
<p dir="ltr">My mom said, i have to be responsible in my job. Trying to do my best at anything, maybe that's why I'm not sure what is the thing I'm best at. Future worries me. I think having passion or ambition can make it easy for us to focus on one thing. But I don't have such thing.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I too, want to feel happy doing my job.</p>
Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7197486808159659765.post-18663136580695341702017-03-27T17:22:00.002+08:002017-03-27T17:22:37.166+08:00Confession 2I am thinking of giving up, everyday, nowadays.Pencontenghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10340848180087515331noreply@blogger.com0