'Menjiwai Islam'

'Menyempurnakan Hak'

2 benda ni menari-nari dalam kepala...

A Fresh Start?

That's what I'm thinking about. Nak bermula dari awal, dari basic, from the very beginning.

To be frank, I have no idea on what should I do, where should I begin.

I WANT TO START AFRESH...START OVER..  

*thinking mode*

('Quick Grasp of Faith 1'-Harun Yahya)

Question  22.

Is there any other voice in a person’s heart apart from that of his conscience?

All of the other alternatives that surface after the voice of one’s conscience are the “voices of the self” that try to suppress the conscience. The self tries with all its might to prevent one from behaving righteously and to make one do evil deeds. It may not do this very openly. It may outline certain excuses which may seem sensible. It may cause one to say “all this will come to nothing.” Allah states this truth in the Qur’an:

“By the soul and Him that moulded it and inspired it with the knowledge of sin and piety: blessed shall be the man who has kept it pure.” (Surat ash-Shams: 7-9)

As stated in the verse, man is a prey to sin but knows he has a duty to guard against it. Man is tested on his choice between good and evil.

Question 65.

What does a person who starts living by religious morality have to change about himself?

In addition to obeying Allah’s orders and performing the rites of worship, the most important change a person who starts living by religious morality should make is adopt a life built on good morals by always following his conscience. Everyone will have the character and way of life he adopted before becoming acquainted with religion. However, when he starts living by religious morality, he must perpetuate his good character traits for the approval of Allah, and immediately abandon those that do not meet the standards of the Qur’an, or remould them in line with the morals of the Qur’an. True believers will not have different world views, life styles or viewpoints. The only criterion for them is the Qur’an and the sunnah, and the only models to be followed are the Prophet Muhammad, the prophets and righteous believers whom Allah gives as examples in the Qur’an.

('Quick Grasp of Faith 2'-Harun Yahya)

Question 34. 

What will be the end of those who are satisfied with the life of this world?

Some people are greedily attached to the world, forgetting that it is imperfect and short-lived. Allah characterises these people in the Qur'an as follows:

As for those who do not expect to meet Us and are content with the life of this world and at rest in it, and those who are heedless of Our Signs, their shelter will be the Fire because of what they earned. (Surah Yunus: 7-8)

Those who are blindly attached to this world, forgetting their Creator, should know that in reprisal for what they do, they will suffer the eternal punishment of Hell. These people, on account of preferring a very short life of enjoyment, will lose an endless life of bliss. In the Hereafter they will not, even for a single instant, be able to enjoy those benefits which they are so greedily attached to in this world.

Question 36. 

Why should man not deem himself self-sufficient?

The main purpose of a person who fears Allah is to be pleasing to Him. This person knows that he needs to improve himself and to engage in a continual effort to be better in behaviour; virtues such as sincerity, honesty, diligence, self-sacrifice and modesty have no "upper limits". In other words no one can say, "I have achieved model behaviour, it couldn't be any better than this." A person's spiritual improvement will be rapid if he sees himself as imperfect and seeks to become better. Such a person purifies himself of his wrongdoings and progresses towards even better behaviour every single day. If someone sees himself as sufficient in any matter, then he will not attempt to seek or make any improvement. As a matter of fact, he is unable to find his faults and imperfections and so cannot amend them, which prevents improvement. Allah states in the Qur'an, that imagining oneself to be self-sufficient is a serious mistake:

No indeed! Truly man is unbridled seeing himself as self-sufficient. (Surat al-'Alaq: 6-7)

For that reason man should not deem himself sufficient, neither in performing good deeds that would please Allah nor in spiritually improving himself. Using the reason and conscience that Allah granted him he should always ask for what is better and the superior, and make a sincere effort to attain it.

**************************************
 4 years ago...

"Life ni kalau nak senang, ikut je flow...xperlu ada dream or aim, so at the end of our life, we'll have no regret."

-Prinsip yang merosakkan-

-ve

Aku dah tak macam dulu. Aku sendiri perasan, tapi bila orang lain cakap camtu baru terkesan. Dah tak berapa pandai nak bergaul dan berkomunikasi dengan orang lain.  Bila fikir yang aku tengah cari sesuatu, apa sebenarnya yang ku nak cari? Kegembiraan semata-mata? Kalaupun ya, bukanka kegembiraan tu takkan dirasa kalau terus-terusan sendirian...arrgghh..i don't understand anymore… 

Kenapa nak being bothered sangat dengan benda ni? Biarlah tak hepi pun, asalkan terus berbuat kebaikan… Tapi betul jugak kata member ku sorang ni, kalau life dah tak rasa hepi, sampai buat kebaikan pun tak terasa nikmatnya.. This is a big problem.. Life suram..langit cerah pun nampak kelabu…

Aku nak bersama diorang, tapi rasa sangat tak layak. Ada requirement ke sampai aku fikir camtu? Bukanka, asalkan nak,terus layak? Kenapa ya aku fikir camtu? Tapi betulla..segan kot dengan diorang..tengok diorang pun aku jadi pressure. Mgkin sebab  aku rasa tak dapat meet diorg punya level kot..otak masih gila2, kadang2 gatal jugak nak enjoy cam zaman dulu.,tapi tak buat, takut pula...sekurang-kurangnya garisan pengantara masa sekarang dengan masa dulu masih kukuh tak terputus...itu kira ok ke? Hai hati..,kenapala camni..

"Are you happy now?"

No,I'm not

"Yes, of course, alhamdulillah."

Plastik, hipokrit..bila nak jujur dengan diri?

Kalau ex-lecturer aku tu tak tanya, agaknya aku terfikir ke tak ya?

Aku nak rasa nikmat hijrah...Aku nak rasa tengok langit cerah dengan hati yang turut cerah...aku nak rasa nikmat ukhuwah seperti yang disebut-sebut dulu...aku nak, seriously, tapi kenapa aku camni..kalau nak, mulakan langkah!

Duhai hati.., kau ni sekeras batu ke mutiara? Kalau mutiara atleast ada sinarnya, ada nilainya..,keras2 pun bermakna..

-monolog jiwa? hati? minda? otak yang putus fius kot...just kidding..-

Naratif 19: Pentas Baru

Dunia tidak berubah. Perjalanan diteruskan, namun kini bermula sebuah perjalanan di pentas yang baru. Pentas kehidupan yang mencabar, yang memerlukan kesabaran dan kecekalan hati. Sekali terleka bisa terbuai selamanya, tersasar hala tujunya. Tiada lagi insan yang mengingatkan diri, namun segalanya pilihan sendiri. Dia hanya ingin menyendiri, jujur pada hati, mencari identiti sendiri, tak ingin hilang diri.

Terasa diri terlalu jauh dari mereka yang tampak dekat pada pandangan mata. Sungguh benar, pandangan mata seringnya dusta. "Di sini bukan tempatku. Sungguh, aku tak layak."

Pentas perubahan beberapa tahun yang lalu dibinanya sendiri, bukan kerana sesiapa. Seorang demi seorang hadir di atas pentas yang dibinanya, atas takdir Allah. Namun entah kenapa...semakin mereka dekatinya dan cuba mengenalinya, hati semakin cuba menjauh, seolah-olah takut untuk dikenali..,lalu mulai menyembunyikan realiti diri. "Plastikkah aku?" Terasa diri hipokrit. Atau adakah ego yang membatasi? Dia sendiri tak pasti.

Tidak ingin terus menipu dan memaksa diri, lantas lari membina pentas yang baru. Pasti, tiada siapa yang memahami. Pentas baru dipenuhi cermin, melihat ke dalam diri, mengingatkan diri sendiri,belajar sendiri...ya.,berdiri di atas kaki sendiri. Cermin2 itu dijaga cermat agar tidak pecah dan membahayakan diri.

Back and Forth

Beg diletakkan di bangku, jaket dibuka. Dikeluarkan MP3, headset disangkut di kepala. Bola dicapai lantas berjalan sambil melantunkan bola, menuju ke gelanggang. Hari ini, dia sendiri lagi. Dibaling bola lantas berlari 5 pusingan gelanggang. Stretching. Warming up.

Mulai bermain sendiri, seperti sedang berlatih untuk perlawanan. Segala rasa geram, marah, dilepaskan sambil melantun dan menjaringkan bola. Berlari, melompat, sejam tanpa henti. Ingin sekali menjerit melepaskan segalanya, namun di situ bukan tempatnya. Tanpa sepatah kata, terus bermain sambil MP3 terus menyanyi-nyanyi di telinganya. Hingga letih tak terhingga, namun  puas.

Nafas turun naik, termengah-mengah. Dia duduk di bangku sambil melihat ke langit. "Apakah yang belum aku temui?" Keluhan dilepaskan. 'Hold my hands' by Maher Zain berlagu di telinga..

Hold my hands

The are many ways to do it right

Hold my hand

Turn around and see what we've left behind

Hold my hand my friend

We can save a good spirit of me and you

For another chance, and let's pray for a beautiful world

Beautiful world I share with you.

Dunia… Beautiful world,huh….

Fikiran melayang membayangkan entah bagaimana dunia yang indah seperti di dalam lirik lagu yang disukainya itu.

Lagu 'Heal the World' by Michael Jackson tetiba menyanyi di minda...Heal the world and make it beautiful….nice continuation, Maher Zain…

Dunianya sendiri terasa sedikit kelam dek hilangnya senyum dan tawa. Berubahkah duniaku? Lagu 'Wake Me Up When September Ends' by Green Day mengambil alih peranan menjadi halwa telinga,diikuti  'Season in the Sun' by Westlife, membawanya ke zaman remaja. Begitu besar perubahan. Dipandangnya diri sendiri, lantas menggeleng kepala..this is too much beyond expectation..hatinya berkata..but alhamdulillah..bisiknya sendiri..

Apa kes aku ni tetiba buka kitab lagu zaman dulu kala ni? Bangkit dan kembali bermain. Setiap jaringan membawa kepuasan pada hatinya.

Langit yang sememangnya kelabu dari tadi mulai menitiskan air. Last shot.

Nice..!

Bergerak pulang sebelum hujan semakin lebat.