Misc~ Final

Assalamualaikum.

Hi Everyone!

She knows what's waiting tomorrow, but somehow she resists to think about it. 

Smile, so happiness will come
Smile, so love will come into my arms
Take action, don't hold back
Even if it's just a small step every day
Even if it's a slow pace
IT'S OK!

I am currently living in the same house as my junior. The form 1 junior when I was in form 5. Guess what? She's currently doing her master degree, about the same time as me. Really happy to see them grown up successfully (did I just sounded like an elderly person?). I didn't really involved myself with the junior back then. U know there is this tradition in boarding school...when a junior did something wrong, all of them will be gathered by the senior before light off to be lectured...giving advises, teaching them to respect seniors and showing juniors the senior's authority? Something like that. I never involved myself in those things. The words they used usually harsh. Having a somewhat popular brother in the same school made me (as a junior) became a target..somehow... And protected, on the other hand.

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My master research has not been progressive lately due to the workload. I have all kind of ideas and material gathered in my phone (I keep my mind thinking about my research while driving, eating, and resting), but haven't got time yet to write them properly.

Happiness built on always holding back can't exist.
So, occasionally it's ok to be selfish. Be truthful to yourself.

So I said, but it's really hard to be selfish, huh.

Maybe it’ll always be hard to live each day
As we shiver from the loss of warmth
Even so, I rush towards happiness (or maybe rushing is bad?) regardless of the perils
Supported by holding tightly onto courage during the hardships of life
Changing the expression in my eyes
May this journey can be completed smoothly
with the best version of myself...insyaAllah.

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"Aku terima nikahnya, Qaisara Nadia Binti Nasruddin dengan mas kahwin 80 ringgit tunai."

Lafaz akad yang baru selesai bersambut doa oleh para tetamu yang hadir. Tanpa sedar, air matanya mengalir, gembira dan bersyukur atas nikmat kebahagiaan yang Allah berikan. Hari itu genap 9 tahun sejak kali terakhir dia bersua dengan Lutfi, dan kini, dia selamat bergelar isteri kepada Lutfi. Segala persiapan perkahwinan diuruskan oleh keluarga masing-masing. Kedua-duanya sibuk dengan kerja dan outstation. 

6 bulan yang lepas.

"Kenapa 22 April?" Tanya Qaisara.

"Sebab 22 April adalah tarikh terakhir kita berjumpa dulu. Dan kebetulan hari Jumaat." Jawab Lutfi di hujung talian.

"Waaa...ingat.." Ujar Q.

"Sebab saya tulis tarikh kan di bawah setiap lukisan tu. Hari tu saya ada lukis lagi 1, tapi saya koyakkan dan simpan. Tahun lepas Atie jumpa dalam buku saya." Panjang lebar Lutfi menjelaskan.

"Ooo..."

Selesai majlis, keduanya duduk bersebelahan. Diam. Kekok. 

Jam menunjukkan pukul 4:30 petang.

"Jom solat." Lutfi bersuara memecah sepi di antara mereka.

Mereka kemudiannya bersiap untuk solat berjemaah bersama buat pertama kalinya. Usai solat, Q mencium tangan Lutfi. 

"Terima kasih." Rendah suaranya.

"Terima kasih, sayang." Jawab Lutfi.

Q tunduk. Muka terasa panas. 

'I already have someone I like.' Antara setia VS malas nak tambah perkara baru utk difikirkan.

Bothersome? Bagi Q, itu perkataan paling sesuai.
'You're a good muslimah. Wait for me until i'm prepared.'
Apa kaitannya? Tanpa sedar, dia sedang berfikir tentangnya. Tanpa sedar, hatinya sedikit digamit rasa. 'Menantikah aku? Aku just don't care, don't bother, kot..'

'Aku ni dah kenapa?'.

Tinggal memori.

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I'll paint the way I like, a world with no outline. And I'll always be knocking on tomorrow, as long as I'm alive.

😉

When my heart is giving in

When my heart is aching in pain

Just put on smile

And let that hope find me, with open arms

There may be stumbles

But those aren't failures

Just brush off the dirt, don't cry

Just stand up again

And sprint forward

All of this will only makes me grow even stronger

p/s 

Sorry about the mixed theme/entry...I'm not sure when will I have time to write here again.