Eid 1441H

Assalamualaikum.

This year's Eid will be different than before, due to this Covid-19 outbreak. Sarawak is still in the phase of Conditional Movement Control Order (CMCO) implemented by the government to break the chain of the virus. Unlike most family, personally, for me, this Eid will be more joyful than ever. I never really enjoy Eid, because my mom was usually not in a good mood during Eid. 

Since my mom married my father, she hardly went back to her hometown to visit our grandparent in Mukah. She told me, there was once, she ran amok just to go to her parents because she missed them too much, but my father could not afford to send her back. Ended up, my father's dad (my grandpa) lent her some money for that. I always pitied my mother since I was young, because of that. Every Eid, mom's mood had never been good. So as me. I just don't like to see my mom being sad. I know there are many things she thought about during Eid. About the regret she had for not celebrating Eid with her parents since her marriage, about how much she miss her parents, and about how unfair it is for her to enjoy Eid when she hardly made her parents happy during Eid since her marriage. Our family was kinda poor before. When my parents can finally afford going to my mother's hometown for a few times in a year, our grandparents was no longer alive. 

Back to this year's Eid, mom is excited. She said because this Eid is different...we are not allowed to cross border between districts, no ziarah raya. Maybe, she feel less guilty, somehow. Seeing how excited my mom is, I feel happy. All these years, I always feel bad about enjoying Eid with my friends. Actually, I never even went ziarah raya to my friends' houses before, until one day, my mom told me to go and enjoy my Eid. That was just few years back, when she saw my younger sister and brothers went out to ziarah raya with their friends, while I stayed at home. Unlike previous Eid, this year, my mom started planning the cake and biscuit she want to bake. She even spent few days on Facebook looking for cake recipes, and wrote them down. We bought everything she need, and even a new steamer. Aside from that, she also plant some vegetables around our house. 

So, despite all the bad things that happen to me, I can feel happy seeing my mom. 

Ya Allah, I pray for my mom's happiness and health. Amiinn Ya Rabb.