Kecewa~

Semalam p program temujanji bersama neXGen, forum 'Cinta dari Hati'. Antara ahli panelnya Prof Mohd Fadzil (TNC), Dr. Dian Patria (Motivator), n Ust Habiburrahman El-Shirazy (Novelis). Hebat kan ahli panel nya? Selama ni cuma baca novel tulisan ustaz, semalam jumpa dia secara real. Bicaranya dalam forum pun sedap didengar, menusuk ke hati. Ya...mungkin sebab ia masuk ke hati,aku jadi kecewa dengan diri. Aku tersedar banyak aku sudah lalai?? "Ya Allah, beri aku keteguhan hati untuk kembali istiqamah dalam mengenal agamaMu. Ampuni kelalaianku dan berikan aku petunjuk.."

I am suppose to write my assignment right now. It has been few days, but I still unable to write at least one page full. Though I do not bring too much worries home this time, I think going back home has given me worries. "What should I do?" "Is there really nothing that I can do?" I always think of that. Several times, I thought of giving up.  Too many things to think about. Sometimes, I press the keys on my phone, to let everything out to someone, but I end up deleting the SMS. I wonder, do I not believe in anyone?? There are 'them' who always there for me...my family, my 'besties'…

*****************************************

Everyone,

Do u believe that every person has something that keep them going on in their lives? Something that make us believe. For me, it's the STAR. No matter whether we can see them in the sky or not, there are always there,isn't it? Though we can't see, in facts, there are always there. It is something that can make me think that they're always there.. The light...and hope…

There is someone I once consider like a star. He's not someone special..just someone in my memories...He's someone  I respect. From back then till today, perhaps, he always did his best in everything.. He has passion and determination. For some reason, when I saw him, I just thought of doing my best too, even though I don't really have anything I want to do or to be in the future, at that time. That's why, though it's tiring, and I hate being in the 'same group' as him, I enjoyed working with him. I know him only for his determination and passion…Nowadays, I can't see him anymore, but he's somewhere out there, doing his best for his life, I'm sure...

****************************************

P.R.I.D.E

Being proud of your work...take pride in your work..it's something I just understand recently. I'm not working yet, though.. As for me, as a student, I should take pride in my assignment and project. Not studying half-heartedly, but seriously and honestly..

Doing your best in what u have to do regardless of whether it is something u like or not. In the end, we'll feel great when things get done..

SATISFACTION...HAPPINESS...and the feeling of "YES! I DID IT!!"

Naratif 20: Kembali Refleksi

Hadirnya secebis rasa ingin mendalami ilmu keagamaan itu dari sekeping hati yang telah terhakis daripadanya setitik kegelapan biarpun sebesar zarah, lalu digantikan dengan rasa ingin tahu tentang kehidupan, siapa dirinya, dan siapa TuhanNya. Maka kenapa bertangguh? Kenapa ditimbulkan pelbagai persoalan berkisar keraguan sedangkan ia jelas adalah sesuatu yang baik? Jangan kau cipta alasan! Kerana alasan bisa menutup kembali ruang cahaya itu. Apa engkau tidak takut akan kegelapan?? Kegelapan hati malahan...Percayalah, itu adalah peluang yang Allah cipta untukmu, maka terimalah ia dan berilah peluang kepada dirimu untuk menuju ke ruang cahaya, terus ke jalan bahagia. Jangan berpaling! Sesungguhnya yang menentukan letaknya garisan di antara cahaya dan kegelapan pada hati manusia itu adalah tuan punya hati. Apakah ingin dibiarkan kegelapan bersemadi di hati, atau mahu dibukakan ruang cahaya sehingga hati itu menjadi hati yang bersinar dengan iman dan taqwa kepada Allah…

Diari Intishar, Julai, 11, 2012

********************************************************

from layoutsparks.com

Aku rindu pada langit malam yang dihiasi bintang...

Emosi menelusuri dingin malam yang sepi. Dalam gelap kamar sunyi, kedengaran hanya desiran angin kipas di siling. Entah kenapa hatinya begitu sedih, sakit. Kesakitan yang membuatkan air matanya jatuh ke pipi. Jantungnya berdegup kencang dek marah pada diri sendiri. Tangan digenggam erat, tak ingin terbawa  api kemarahan, tak ingin air mata terus jatuh..ego, pada diri...

Hati terasa terbeban, entah kenapa..terasa seperti kehilangan sesuatu yang amat bernilai dalam diri, namun tak dia ketahui. Rasa yang sukar sekali ditafsir, namun menyeksa pemilik hati.

Bangun dari pembaringan, duduk di tepi tingkap kamar yang sunyi. Memandang ke langit yang gelap tanpa sebutir bintang menghiasi. Sudah lama tidak merefleksi diri. Sudah lama tak menjengah hati sendiri. Apakah kealpaan mulai membelenggu diri??

"Ya Allah, ku damba petunjukMu, dalam pencarianku.."

Bisiknya dalam kepekatan malam. Keluhan dilepaskan…

"what've I been doing all this time??!"

Jerit sang hati, marah..kecewa pada diri..

Terus termenung, melayan emosi, tangisan hati yang hanya didengari diri, dan PenciptaNya...

Just a "no-merit" writing..

Today will be my last day of mid-sem break. After today, i'm going to devote full attention on my Final Year Project, assignments, and prepare for mid-term examination. There'll be not less than a year left for me to end my study in this programme. After this, i will do something that i really want, insyaALLAH.

The things that i studied all this time will not go to waste. Coz even though i don't really have any interest in this field, they're still knowledge worth to be studied. Maa, there's no such thing as unworthy knowledge, isn't it?

After holiday, i'll be having mid-term examination for Career Development in Organization, Industrial Relations, and Performance Management. And there're 2nd assignments for every courses, and Final Year Project. If i use my time wisely this week, i'll definitely be able to finish everything..that's based on my calculation. However, since it's holiday, i'm not sure whether i can do it or not..

After holiday, i'll be listening to people's complaints about having too much work to be done and being stressful for it. Though i personally think that it's kind of irrational after having 9 days break, i'm not going to say anything, coz every people have different ways of thinking. I'm not too good to say anything, by the way...Just do my things and ignore everything that's only worth to be ignored. Even if i'm going to be stressful for not using my time wisely to finish everything, there's only myself to be blamed. That's my beliefs.

*i'm gonna take a break from blogging once again.. take care everyone!

Holiday's Melancholy

I'm not going back this mid-sem break. I'm not sure what's the reason, i just doesn't feel like going back home. Listening to the 'takbir raya' from the 4th floor of apartment, there's a strange feeling in my heart. I know, i should've gone back,since i have the chance to see them. But there are too many worries inside my mind and i don't want to bring them back home.

Tonight, i want to cry out loud. It has been a long time since i did. I just wanna cry,.. let go off all the feeling. I don't know why i feel burdened, i can't bear with it, and i thought of giving up. Yeah...give up. I've always thought about it all this time. I cried...till i fell asleep.

When i talked about it, people never take my words seriously..It's not easy for me to open up myself in front of the others, but they just never think that i'm serious. I'm seriously tired and hurting. Maybe the way i express myself never seems serious, i wonder..It has been a few months..

Reflecting...

But still...till today, i can't get my spirit up...



I'm not going to give up...of course..



I just need motivation..to stay where i'm now, till everything ends..

Personality test

People tend to believe in convincing words, and words that sounds factual. This type of words or descriptions often used in presenting the result of personality inventory. It's a way to convinced people that that's the way they are. Beware, the result might not be 100% accurate, that's expected... Coz it's depend on our mental or psychology condition at the time we take the inventory. That's why, it's important to make sure that we're in an excellent condition or mood when we're going to take the inventory.  Besides, it's better if we know ourselves, since the questions are asking about ourselves.

These are the example of the result of personality inventory from Signal Pattern's Personality Pattern's Web Application. Click on the link to try it. The test is based on the Big Five's personality theory.

Introspective

She likes her own company; she's a very interesting person. Tracking her own mental processes, knowing what she's thinking and why she does what she does, is important to her. Often, what's going on in her mind is more compelling than what's going on outside. For the most part, those with a high score on the "introspective" trait enjoy reading, taking long walks, learning new things, and other solitary activities.

She is not someone who is constantly looking to be among a group of friends; she never feels bored when she is by herself.

Upbeat

She enjoys being around others and others enjoy being around her. She has a "live and let live" attitude; because she knows that no one's perfect, she is forgiving and happy to give the benefit of the doubt.

She doesn't feel the need to be controversial or express contrary opinions all the time. She sees no reason to go around rubbing people the wrong way.

Reserved

She is somewhat shy, or at least unwilling to spend all her time socializing. With her it's true that "still waters run deep," which is why many of her acquaintances never get to know her well.

She is not always ready to talk at the drop of a hat. Whether they're in the office or at a party, they're not likely to be found gabbing away in the middle of a group of people.

Discreet

She tends to hold onto her thoughts until she has something important to say, and even then she's not comfortable imposing her ideas on others unless she knows they're truly interested.

She doesn't enjoy talking for the sake of talking, and she has no desire to be the center of attention.

Creative

She is good at solving problems, coming up with original ideas, and seeing connections between things, connections that most other people miss. People with a high score on the "creative" trait often are employed in such fields as finance and scientific research, and enjoy avant garde and classical music as well as literary fiction and scholarly non-fiction.

She does not shun abstractions and concepts in favor of the concrete and tangible.

Scrupulous

She is an honest, fair person. She doesn't lie or cheat to get ahead. She treats others with respect and hope for the same in return.

She does not feel that she is above the rules that everyone else follows; she is definitely not willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead.

Conscientious

She feels it's important to work according to a plan and finish every task, to do things correctly and thoroughly.

She is not the kind of person who abandons a project before finishing it, or slacks off when she has lost interest.

Innovative

She comes up with a lot of ideas; if one doesn't work out, there's always another waiting in the wings. She often has interesting solutions to difficult problems. she's practically a one-person brainstorming session.

She is less interested changing the world than in dealing with things as they are. Unlike those who spend all their time trying to solve problems, she prefers to zero in on things that work and stick with them.

Astute

She is a quick study. She generally doesn't need to have things explained to her more than once. When presented with a problem, she will often have an instant understanding of where to look for the solution.

She does not take her sweet time when presented with a new task to complete or problem to solve. She doesn't avoid assignments that require her to learn new skills.

Independent

She is comfortable being by herself, and would often rather be alone than, say, in a crowded club. She doesn't generally succumb to group pressure unless the group wants to do the same thing that she wants to do.

She does not describe herself as "people person," and she's less likely to be found in the middle of a crowd than doing something by herself.

People tend to believe in everything that was being described as they see that there are some ideas that match their personality that they acknowledge. For example;

When we read the 1st 4 statement, and we think it's true, we start to think, "That's true..this test can really describe people's personality.."

When we read the other statement, since we're convinced with 1st 4 statements that are true, we tend to believed in the other statement although they might not be accurate. This is the psychology trick used in the 'tarot card reading' or in 'fortune telling'..They'll 1st apply 'cold reading' technique, such as reading people by their body language, hairstyle, fashion, age, ethnicity, gender, religion, etc. By using these treats, they can accurately or nearly guess an individual's personality. As more people believe that they can tell people's fortune, it build a perception in some other people minds that they are true.

However, in personality test, there's a high chance that the result really describe an individual because an individual is actually telling their personality by answering the questions. Less generalization is used. The one telling the truth or not is the individual's self. We can sometime be confused about ourselves, that's why..

Try it and see how much the test can describe you...it's kind of fun to do it.

Aku nak study psikologi & human behaviour coz i want to understand myself better, and maybe, with the knowledge, aku boleh jaga hubungan dengan manusia..hablumminannas...of course, hablumminallah 1st, coz insyaAllah, dgn mnjaga hubungan dengan Allah, akn trjaga hubungan dengan manusia. I've always been wondering, why do people did this or that, mybe, that's why i want to learn more about human being....

Mama~

17/9/1963-----------49 years------------17/9/2012 [Today]

Mama~~Sanah Helwah...

Today is my mom's birthday...i've never said anything to her on her birthday, coz we don't have tht kind of practice in our family.

Mama,

I'm grateful to be your daughter. I have never been a good daughter to u, but u have always been the best mama to me.,i'm sorry.

Mama,

When i was 9 years old, i started to change ur life by being sick. U had to take me to see doctor every week, every fortnight, and then every month. Many things happened and changed since then. I'm sorry for being sick.

Mama,

I'm an adult now. I can take care of myself. I know my limit, and i know what to do when i sick. I promise i'll never bother u again about my illness.

Mama,

Thank you for everything in everyday since i was in your womb till today...i'm sorry for every time i hurt u..

Mama, I LOVE YOU...u're the number one for me..

The 11th hour

Story:

Strange things happen when people are put in situations out of their control, follow Ahmed's trail of religious maturity when he stumbles upon 3 of the oddest roommates you'll find. Ahmed (Abe Saleh) is having problems beyond his control, good fortune rarely finds him. When he is assigned to his dorm during his second year of college he discovers his worst nightmares: A geeky MSA activist, an angry extremist and a wacky immigrant. His abhorrence for these characters makes him more aware of what is going on a round him. What Ahmed ends up realizing is that through these three odd characters he learns a lesson that has escaped him many times before: those who decide to change at the twelfth hour may not make it to that point. Ahmed realizes that his present life is stuck in neutral and he is looking for is a simple break.

By Sami Haque


Title: 11th Hour
producer: Sami Haque, Hasan Shaikh
Type: Comedy/drama, 24mins
Director: Ross Heran
Language: English

I watch this after reading 'Contengan Jalanan' by Hlovate

Sebelum ni dah ada beberapa post tentang 'Perubahan'@'Change'..Jadi, kali ni i'm not going to write too much.

'Xpa, masih mudak, enjoy lok puas2, lak dah tua tobat..' (this is one of the example of the man that decides to change on the 12th hour..'

Dengan siraman nikmat dunia, manusia sering lupa bahawa hidup di dunia ni hanya sementara..(ayat skema). That's it. Seolah-olah kita boleh expect bila kita akan mati. Lupa dari mana asal, lupa akan destinasi terakhir, sedangkan yang kita lupa tu la asal kita dan tempat kita kembali. ALLAH S.W.T..Kerana kita percaya bahawa kita sentiasa akan ada peluang untuk bertaubat, jadi kita memutuskan untuk menangguh-nangguhkannya,lalu kita lupa..lalai..terus terleka...Hidup di dunia ni kejap je. Mati kita Allah yang tentukan. Anytime, anywhere, or for whatever reason (the absolute reason is that the time has come for us to return to our 'hometown'), death is absolute. So, let's decide to change on the 10th hour~

Ingat ikrar kita,


اِنَّ صَلاَتِي وَنُسُكِي وَمَحْيَايَ وَمَمَاتِي ِﷲِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ

Sesungguhnya solatku, ibadahku, hidupku dan matiku hanyalah kerana Allah, Tuhan seluruh alam.

Think about it...

Allah lebih Mengetahui.

Peace! ^_^

Another random post...

Aku baru balik dari sekolahku, SM Sains Kuching. Ada ramah-tamah aidilfitri sekali diselit perjumpaan alumni. To be frank, aku tak pasti kenapa aku hadir. Jumpa cikgu, best jugak. Jumpa member memang best..Tapi masalahnya xtau nak cakap apa. Apala nak dicakapkan dengan cikgu bagi someone yang low profile cam aku ni. Ahaks...Niat nak bertanya something dengan ustazah pun tak tercapai, ustazah nampak busy, nak menghampir pun xberani. Ramai jugak cikgu2 yg ku nak jumpa stay di staff room. Segan pula nak naik. Sejak bila??? 

Aku rindu sekolah, rindu school life, rindu member2, rindu dengar leteran cikgu, rindu kemas makmal, rindu main2 chemical substances n science apparatus, rindu curi litmus paper, rindu buat eksperimen tak pernah nak jadi, rindu ada meja,kerusi n loker sendiri di kelas. Masa sekolah masih boleh main2. Xsiap homework salin dari kawan, duduk dalam kelas berjam-jam, tak rasa letih macam duduk dalam kuliah 2-3 jam. Kenapa? Homework masa sekolah ada 7-8 subjek, tak henti2, tapi xla stress sangat. Tapi assignment di universiti ada 2 sepanjang sem, subjek pula 4-5 je, tapi otak rasa macam xcukup kapasiti. Kenapa? Aku terfikir juga, mungkin kalau praktikkan disiplin study macam zaman sekolah dalam study di universiti, mungkin xda yang mustahil untuk dapatkan perfect score. Apa tidaknya, lepas P&P, solat, makan ,rehat kejap, then prep petang. Malam pula prep malam. Suasana prep membuatkan student rasa nak buat homework or study. 

Kalau nak senang study di universiti, praktikkan disiplin yang dah terlatih di sekolah. Walaupun di kampus xterkongkong dengan rules, buat rules sendiri, and protect it. That's the way. X salah rasanya, lagipun dah biasa hidup dalam bermacam-macam peraturan di sekolah, kan? Lepas keluar dari sekolah, aku sedar yang peraturan tu bukan mengongkong, tapi  membentuk diri, memudahkan life. Kita dah ada peraturan hidup sebagai Muslim, n kita boleh buat peraturan sendiri based on Muslim's rules supaya life lebih teratur and ikut jalan yang sepatutnya, x menyimpang, tak terpesong. X tersesat, sentiasa selamat. 

*********************

Another random post. Xda tujuan, xda benefit. Sorry...

Ngerepak lok...

Malam ni ketenteraman tergugat gara2 konsert perkahwinan jiran ku...mau nak pecah gegendang telingaku dengan bunyi drum sebaik bangun tidur tadi pagi sehingga malam ni. Sekali seumur hidup la katakan, biarkan raja sehari merasa nikmat menjadi raja??? I'm not sure about it. They better stop before midnight. 

Tambah lagi dengan kepala yang sakit terasa nak explode sejak kelmarin, tergendala penulisan proposal projek tahun akhir ku yang sepatutnya siap by next week...ni la akibat terima projek yang sendiri tak yakin dapat buat. Gasak jak dila...Singkat rasanya perjalanan as an undergraduate student..sedar tak sedar, cuma tinggal 2 sem je lagi, n to make it sound sooner, next year dah graduate. InsyaALLAH kalau xda halangan. 

 

Dah jumpa ramai orang, n dah merasa kehilangan ramai orang. Dah menyaksikan pelbagai ragam. Dah merasa kegagalan. Rasa macam xda buat pa2 pun ada jugak. Bangun pagi buat pa yang wajib n pa yg perlu, p kelas,  tengok muka lecturer mengajar, keluar kelas, then rutin berterusan macam biasa...xda yg istimewa, xda yang menarik. Hujung sem duduk exam, then, tggu result. Gara2 proses x menarik, result pun x menarik. Sepanjang beberapa tahun ni banyak juga kehilangan yang ku alami. Hilang kepercayaan kpd manusia, n hilang keinginan untuk berkawan or berinteraksi dengan orang. Pengalaman benar2 bisa membentuk peribadi manusia.

Adik dapat UKM, tmpt yang dia nak, aku pula hanya mampu bermimpi untuk mencapai apa yang dicita. Masih lagi bermimpi biarpun ia agak menyeksa diri.. Like anyone else, i had been working hard to make my dream comes true. Maybe it's not time yet for me to achieve it,or maybe, for me to achieve it is something bad. I don't know for sure, but somehow i want to believe that there're good reason(hikmah) for it... Or maybe they're just some sweet words to cheer myself up..Just do it, work hard in whatever u do now. 

*****************

So, this is just another useless post, without any benefit for the reader. My bad..i apologize..

Demi Kesucian Cinta

Aku malu pada Sang Pencipta

Tika hati mulai digamit rasa

Resah keliru dibuai indahnya cinta

Aku sedar Dia mengetahui

Maka harusku suburkn cinta Ilahi

Demi menjaga kesucian hati

Ku tak ingin dirimu terus berfantasi

Fantasi cinta yg bisa merosakkan hati

Meracuni akal fikiran dengan ilusi duniawi

Hingga lupa meditasi ukhrawi

Ku tak ingin kau cemar kesucian diri

Tika hati dipenuhi cinta insani

Hilang khusyuk ibadah pada ilahi

Kerana rindu insani mengatasi rindu Ilahi

Aku tak ingin menjeratmu tanpa ku sedari

Agar dirimu terus terjaga dari fitnah dunia

Kan ku terus biarkan rasa menjadi rahsia

Yang pasti aturanNya lebih sempurna

Di akhir sujudku

Ku sisipkan doa berserta tasbih

Agar terpelihara hatiku dan hatimu

Dari fitnah cinta yang bisa meracuni hati

Moga terus teguh meraih redha Ilahi...

**********************************

Ya Allah,

Jika aku jatuh cinta,

Labuhkan cintaku pada insan yang melabuhkan cintanya padaMu,

Supaya cintaku padaMu makin bertambah,

Ya Muhaimin,

JIka aku jatuh cinta,

Pelihara cintaku supaya tidak melebihi cintaku padaMu,

Ya Allah,

Jika aku jatuh hati,

Izinkan aku menyentuh hati insan yang hatinya tertaut padaMu,

Ya Tuhanku,

Jika aku jatuh hati,

Peliharakan hatiku padanya agar tidak berpaling dariMu,

Ya Rabbul Izzati,

Jika aku rindu,

Rindukan aku pada insan yang merindui syahid di jalanMu,

Dan pelihara rinduku supaya tidak lalai dari merindui syurgaMu,

Ya Allah,

Jika aku sedang menikmati cinta hambaMu,

Janganlah kenikmatan itu melebihi kenikmatan munajat di sepertiga malamMu,

Ya Allah

Jika aku jatuh hati pada hambaMu,

Jangan biarkan aku tertatih dan terjatuh dalam perjalanan panjang menyeru manusia kepadaMu,

Ya Allah,

Jika Engkau halalkan aku merindui hambaMu,

Jangan biarkan aku melampaui batas sehingga terlupa cinta hakiki dan rindu abadi hanya kepadaMu,

Amin

Ya Rabbal’Alamin

(Doa cinta Sayyid Qutb)

*Sekadar coretan pena yang dah haus...mungkin punya maksud, mungkin tidak..terpulang pada yang membaca...Moga kita semua terpelihara dari fitnah dunia..

I Believe

This is a song by Irfan Makki featuring Maher Zain-dedication to Rasulullah...

Novel~

Baru-baru ni, aku mulai membaca 'Syarah Al-Hikam' yang telah diterjemah dan diperjelaskan dengan bahasa yang lebih mudah. Sangat menarik dan banyak manfaatnya. Selesai bahagian pertama, terdetik di hatiku untuk berhenti sehari untuk membaca novel. Aku baca novel 'Bumi Cinta' karya Habiburrahman El-Shirazy. 

Novel ini menceritakan kisah perjalanan seorang mahasiswa Indonesia yang menuntut di India yang sedang menyiapkan tesisnya di Rusia, tentang sejarah Islam di Rusia. Dia menghadapi ujian2 berat, terutamanya ujian pesona keanggunan gadis2 Rusia. Apalagi, dia tinggal serumah dengan 2 org gadis Rusia yang cantik dan sering cuba untuk menguji dirinya. Seorang agen rahsia Israel dan seorang lagi tidak mempercayai adanya Tuhan, Atheis. Selain daripada kisahnya menjaga kesucian dirinya, terdapat juga unsur2 sejarah dan ketuhanan.  Banyak pengajaran yang boleh kita dapat dari novel ini. Tapi in the end, aku rasa ceritanya tergantung pula..Btw, kalau baca novel, camtula, lastly mesti rasa ceritanya tak abis..

Bagi yang muslim, adalah lebih baik membaca novel2 spiritual daripada novel2 fantasi cinta yang hanya menceritakan tentang kisah romantik di antara insan yang tidak halal serta obsesi cinta insan yang tidak memberi apa2 makna dan pengajaran yang sesuai dengan cara hidup muslim...sekurang-kurangnya, sesuatu yang kita dapat dari novel2 spiritual adalah peringatan dari kisah yang membawa kita hanyut dibuai indahnya cinta kepada Allah serta kepentingan menjaga kesucian hati dan diri dalam liku2 kehidupan...

That's All..need to continue doing something that has been paused for a while...

Ulangkaji: Bersangka Baik

Kali ni, aku nak cerita pasal bersangka baik..sebenarnya, ni adalah peringatan buat diri sendiri..Tentang bersangka baik ni, personally bagi aku, ia ibarat satu daya yang mebuatkan kita merasa lega dari perasaan-perasaan negatif...Macam 'jampi' "Go Go Prejudice!"..Macam tak patut pula guna word 'jampi' tu..don't misunderstand, k… Bersangka baik ni juga merupakan satu doa, sebab bila kita bersangka baik, secara tidak langsung, kita berdoa untuk kebaikan.

Aku rasa tak perlu bagi aku berceloteh panjang soal ni, sebab banyak lagi blog-blog org2 yang lebih arif  menjelaskan tentang nya.. Mungkin cukup dengan aku sertakan bersama dalil2, hujah2, quote2 yang berkaitan untuk kita jadikan iktibar dan kata mutiara yang boleh dijadikan bekalan dalam rutin seharian kita..beringat-ingat selalu!! ^_^

 Alright, molek kiranya aku memulakan dengan bait-bait hikmah firman Allah S.W.T, dari kitab panduan sepanjang zaman, Al-Quran…

Dari surah Al-Hujurat ayat 12, Allah berfirman:

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Jauhilah kebanyakan dari sangkaan (supaya kamu tidak menyangka sangkaan yang dilarang) kerana sesungguhnya sebahagian dari sangkaan itu adalah dosa dan janganlah kamu mengintip atau mencari-cari kesalahan dan keaiban orang dan janganlah setengah kamu mengumpat setengahnya yang lain. Adakah seseorang dari kamu suka memakan daging saudaranya yang telah mati? (Jika demikian keadaan mengumpat) maka sudah tentu kamu jijik kepadanya. (Oleh itu, patuhilah larangan-larangan yang tersebut) dan bertakwalah kamu kepada Allah; sesungguhnya Allah Penerima taubat, lagi Maha mengasihani." (49:12)

Allah juga berfirman dalam surah Al-Fath ayat 12, yang bermaksud:

“Dan syaitan telah menjadikan kamu memandang baik dalam hatimu persangkaan itu, dan kamu telah menyangka dengan sangkaan yang buruk dan kamu menjadi kaum yang binasa.” (48:12) 

Bersangka baik juga menjadikan kita hamba yang bersyukur. Contohnya, daripada mempersoalkan tentang kenapa kita tidak mendapatkan apa ang kita hajati, dengan bersangka baik, kita akan mampu untuk redha dengan keyakinan bahawa setiap apa yang berlaku ke atas kita itu adalah kurniaan Allah untuk menguji kita, dan pasti ada hikmah di sebaliknya.

Firman Allah dalam surah Saba' ayat 13, maksudnya:

"Hanya sedikit di kalangan hamba-hambaKu yang bersyukur."(34:13)

Jom sertai golongan yang sedikit itu!

Rasulullah S.A.W pernah bersabda, maksudnya:

"Jauhilah prasangka itu, sebab prasangka itu pembicaraan yang paling dusta"

(HR. Muttafaqun alaihi)

Kata Saidina Umar al-Khattab, khalifah kedua islam;

"Janganlah kamu berprasangka terhadap perkataan yang keluar dari mulut saudara kamu (sesama muslim) kecuali sangkaan yang baik."

"Seandainya engkau menyampaikan keburukan saudaramu, jika itu benar, maka bererti kamu sudah membuka aib saudaramu, dan jika itu salah, maka engkau sudah melakukan fitnah"

Seterusnya, saya sertakan tips untuk sentiasa bersangka  baik sesama insan yang dikongsikan oleh Syeikh Abdul Qadir Al Jailani, seorang ahli tasawwuf yang tidak asing lagi dalam dunia Islam.

1. Jika engkau bertemu dengan seseorang, maka yakinilah bahawa dia lebih baik darimu. Ucapkan dalam hatimu :"Mungkin kedudukannya di sisi Allah jauh lebih baik dan lebih tinggi dariku."

2. Jika bertemu anak kecil, maka ucapkanlah (dalam hatimu) :"Anak ini belum bermaksiat kepada Allah, sedangkan diriku telah banyak bermaksiat kepadaNya. Tentu anak ini jauh lebih baik dariku."

3. Jika bertemu orang tua, maka ucapkanlah (dalam hatimu):"Dia telah beribadah kepada Allah jauh lebih lama dariku, tentu dia lebih baik dariku."

4. Jika bertemu dengan seorang yang berilmu, maka ucapkanlah (dalam hatimu):"Orang ini memperoleh kurnia yang tidak akan kuperolehi, mencapai kedudukan yang tidak akan pernah kucapai, mengetahui apa yang tidak kuketahui dan dia mengamalkan ilmunya, tentu dia lebih baik dariku."

5. Jika bertemu dengan seorang yang jahil, maka katakanlah (dalam hatimu) "Orang ini bermaksiat kepada Allah kerana dia jahil (tidak tahu), sedangkan aku bermaksiat kepadaNya padahal aku mengetahui akibatnya.Dan aku tidak tahu bagaimana akhir umurku dan umurnya kelak. Dia tentu lebih baik dariku."

6.Jika bertemu dengan orang bukan islam, maka katakanlah (dalam hatimu) "Aku tidak tahu bagaimana keadaannya kelak, mungkin di akhir usianya dia memeluk Islam dan beramal soleh. Dan mungkin boleh jadi di akhir usia diriku kufur dan berbuat buruk."

Yang meninggikan darjat seseorang ialah akal dan adabnya, bukan asal keturunannya. (Aristotle)

Bila nak cerminkan diri,telitikan dahulu kekurangan dan kelemahan yang ada pada diri. 

Wallahua'lam...

Nocebo vs Placebo = Expectation & Perception

Nocebo Effect------------Placebo Effect

These two things shows the relationship between mind and health. The power of Human Mind. How people can actually feels sick when they are actually not, and becomes healthy though they are sick. The keys are...their PERCEPTION and EXPECTATION.

For example, one can be cured by distilled water or sugar water because they have prior expectation or perception that the drink can definitely cure them. And one can be sick just because they think that they're sick. I'm not an expert, so i can't elaborate more on this..As a believer, i believe that it happen because of Allah. That should be the best explanation.

*******************************************************

PERCEPTION and EXPECTATION...

They can sometime be convincing. They are moments when I try to find hope using perception and expectation..to see what's interesting in my current life. I can't really describe the meaning. Maybe i can describe it as my life is 'paused' though the time keep running. I once have a dream, have something that i want to be or achieve in my life, but the dream keep fading away, and now i can't really see what i expect in the future. No more expectation...it makes me feel exhausted.The exhaustion that make me afraid to open my eyes and see another day of losing to the reality. That dream...though i can't see any shadows left, it's still hurtful to forget. I'm aware that i need to live my life to the fullest in the present, and i'm doing my best to do so. As for now, i wish i can find something interesting in my study life.

However, I'm glad that i found something certain in my life years before, and with that 'certain' thing, i really want to enjoy every seconds in my life. For that, i need aspiration, as well as inspiration. Coz without inspiration, there's no meaning of the aspiration. 

Once again, as a believer, i believe that everything happen with reasons. And it lead me to reflect upon my every actions. REFLECTION...go for it. But, i don't know why, every time i reflect on myself, i always end up feel regret and frustrated. Maybe i should 'repair' my iman and increase the quality of redha in myself..

BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERY GOOD THINGS, AND REGRETFUL FOR EVERY BAD THINGS...look for the space of improvement and space for transformation...HAVE FAITH!

^_^  it has been a while...

My future...i wonder what will happen....

Who am I in the future?

What am I doing in the future?

How do I live in the future?

? Kata hati...tetiba??

Tanpa ragu, kita memilih laluan sendiri

Terpisah, dan meninggalkan semua memori

Apakah akan tiba satu masa

Bila mana laluan kita tercantum semula

Menuju destinasi yang sama

Berjalan bersama ke satu arah

Adakah engkau telah berubah

Ingin sekali untuk bertemu

Kerana aku merinduimu

Muhasabah Cinta

Sakit tu pun salah satu pelajaran dari Allah..indirectly...sebab bila kita merasa sakit yang teramat sangat, kita mula berfikir tentang mati, yang mungkin kita lupa selama ni..

Pernah sekali tu aku merasa sakit yang teramat sangat...kebiasaannya kesakitan tu reda setelah beberapa minit, tapi hari tu ia berlanjutan sepanjang hari. Dan tu la kali pertama aku menangis kerana sakit. Dahla masa tu da exam, final exam, last paper kalau tak silap. Dah tu skuter ku pula buat hal. Aku bangun awal pagi tu, sebab mlam sebelumnya berniat nak bangun qiam. Tapi bila aku sedar, dadaku sakit. Bertambah sakit setiap kali aku bernafas, jadi aku xdapat nak bangun. Tapi aku paksa diriku bangun, sebab aku betul2 rasa nak qiam, at least tahajjud. Aku berjaya berwudhuk. Tapi bila aku berdiri nak solat, tetiba kesakitan tu bertambah, lalu aku baring semula atas katil. Masa tu aku fikir, "Allah dah nak cabut nyawa aku ke? Dah sampai masanya ke?". Dan masa tu la semua dosa2 yang pernh aku lakukan bermain2 di fikiran. Masa tu aku sedar banyak perkara...Macam...mati itu pasti, dan bila masanya kita xtau, tapi ia tetap akn berlaku pada masa yang telah tertulis di luh mahfuz, regardless of kita ready ke tak..

Aku terus berbaring, sambil berharap kesakitan tu berkurang bila azan subuh berkumandang. Masa tu aku tak ingat famili, kawan2..aku cuma ingat dosa, khilaf aku selama aku hidup. 

Jadi, kesakitan tu adalah peringatan. Kita ni mudah lupa asal-usul kita, lupa pada yang menciptakan, lupa pada yang memberikan kita kehidupan ni. Jadi setiap peringatan tu datangnya bersama kasih-sayang. Allah sayang, maka Dia ingatkan kita, kawan2 sayang, maka mereka ingatkan kita bila kita leka. Tinggi nilai kasih-sayang tu. Tapi jika seseorang tu hanya mengajak kita leka, lalai, terhadap dunia, itu bukanlah kasih-sayang yang sebenar, sebaliknya musibah. Seriously~

Akhir kata, remember..kita ni dimiliki, bukan memiliki...that's the reality~

*********************************

Wahai... Pemilik nyawaku

Betapa lemah diriku ini

Berat ujian dariMu

Kupasrahkan semua padaMu

Tuhan... Baru ku sadar

Indah nikmat sehat itu

Tak pandai aku bersyukur

Kini kuharapkan cintaMu

Reff. :

Kata-kata cinta terucap indah

Mengalun berzikir di kidung doaku

Sakit yang kurasa biar jadi penawar dosaku

Butir-butir cinta air mataku

Teringat semua yang Kau beri untukku

Ampuni khilaf dan salah selama ini

Ya ilahi....

Muhasabah cintaku...

Tuhan... Kuatkan aku

Lindungiku dari putus asa

Jika ku harus mati

Pertemukan aku denganMu

Back to Reff.

Sudah sampai masanya untukku melupakan...aiseh..apa kes???

*********************************************

Sepatutnya sekarang tengah buat research proposal..alhamdulillah, sekarang baru dapat gambaran jelas tantang tajuk yang cikgu bagi kat aku. Cikgu suggest jak pun for me to do that particular study, tapi aku xreti nak cakap aku xnk wat tajuk tu..Jadi untuk lebih sebulan aku tak fikir terus tentang proposal tu. Submission Mei nanti. Jadi lepas cuti ni, aku nak submit draft. 

Banyak juga yang aku fikirkan sebelum ni..especially,objektif kajian..sbb selagi aku tak tau tu, selagi tu la aku xdpat nak buat.. Alhamdulillah, sekarang dah dapat gambaran jelas. Sebab ni individual task, aku lebih brsemangat nk buat, jadi ku kena wat yang terbaik..aku xdapat tahan dengan group task.,meletihkan, lagi2 kena bergaul dengan orang..payah betul..

Being a loner...it's comfortable..peaceful..i'm lovin' it..

But then, doing Human Resource Development...apa yang telah aku lakukan??? tetiba rasa macam semuanya adalah mimpi.......mimpi ngeri ka mimpi indah, jawapannya tunggu graduation next year...insyaALLAH..for the time being, ikut je flow, just TRY, to do my best..

3998

U have always been far away from me..

Since back then..

And even further today..

The gap keep increasing..






And it's bothering...somehow...

S.I.N.C.E.R.I.T.Y

Be Good to the End

I'm writing again...after a week of midterm exam craziness..

Aku terfikir sesuatu..

-REGRET-

Two things that'll bring us to REGRET is;

1. DOING BAD THINGS

2. HESITATE IN DOING GOOD THINGS..

Tapi ada jak orang yang buat jahat or benda2 xbaik, tp xrasa menyesal..mungkin dia xtau dia buat salah, or xkisah pun tentang baik jahat, or dosa pahala ni. Adaaa...hmm..

Kadang2 kita tau kita wat salah, tapi dalam diri kita, ada la 'defense mechanism' yang memujuk kita bahawa pa yang kita wat tu x salah...other than hasutan syaitan..yes, psychologically...yang dinamakan rationalization. Ada 10 sebenarnya defense mechanism yang Auntie Anna Freud jelaskan, tp yang related dengan apa yang ku nak bebelkan ni adalah rationalization. 

http://www.motifake.com/rationalization-logic-optimism-demotivational-posters-148188.html

Dalam 10 defense mechanism yang aku belajar dalam Personality Development dulu, rationalization ni jak yang paling aku ingat, sebab biasa buat kot. Tapi, dengan belajar bena ni juga, aku belajar untuk elak dari menggunakan rationalization ni, dengan tak buat benda2 yang boleh wat aku guna defense mechanism ni. Alhamdulillah..

Rationalization ni, lebih kurangnya macam bila seseorang tu wat salah, kita akan cari hujah2 or logik yang buat kita berhenti fikir yang ianya salah.. Lalu at the end, kta yakin, "I've done nothing wrong"...in short, finding a "good reason" for something that we really know is wrong. Contohnya, bila dapat result exam yang kureng, kita salahkan cikgu or lecturer yang marking strict la, ajar xphm la.,rather than fikir yang kita ni mungkin kurang preparation or usaha utk exam tu.. Since aku student, guna contoh student lebih senang.

Mungkin ni kot yang di apply kan oleh orang  yang tak rasa menyesal bila buat salah.

Satu lagi adalah bertangguh nak buat baik, lalu at the end, kita ada kekangan masa untuk melaksanakan niat baik kita sehingga niat tu pudar dan hapus..contohnya, bila bukak sem baru, kita berazam untuk tingkatkan usaha, kerajinan dan passion..aiseh.. Tp kita tangguh2 nak wat suma tu, at the end, last minute study lagi untuk final exam..

Lepas tu baru menyesal. Tapi at least ada rasa menyesal tu, daripada tiada..n learn from it..Rasa penyesalan tu menyakitkan..jadi bila dah berniat nak wat baik tu, baik jangan bertangguh. Dan bila terasa nak wat something x elok, or berburuk sangka, or benci orang, or mengumpat, etc  tu, kawal2kanlah...Manusia ni pelupa..kadang2 lupa tentang dosa pahala, lupa yang Allah sentiasa melihat, lupa tentang dari mana asalnya...maka carilah peringatan, jangan salahkan hidayah or peringatan yang x sampai2 lagi..huhu..

BUATLAH KEBAIKAN BIARPUN SEDIKIT, DAN TINGGALKANLAH KEMUNGKARAN BIARPUN HANYA SECEBIS.

KURANGKAN PENYESALAN DALAM HIDUP KITA...

Mulakan misi kurangkan penyesalan sekarang!

Get.., Set.., Go!

Allah lebih mengetahui~

Peringatan buat diri, especially….and others yang nak ambil ia sebagai peringatan.

******************************

There's somewhere in ur heart

Even in just a little space

"I wanna be good"

There's some sound in ur heart

A loud shout

"I wanna change!"

Ignore it

Go for it

What would u do?

The way u're now

Is just okay

u're comfortable somehow

That way

You can't fly away

From that space

A slight degree away

Might change everything

So u're afraid

And so u stay

Hey, come to ur senses!

Think of the ending of our life..

Hey, say no to regretful life!

When it comes to an end...

Real life only starts after it ends..