Apabila kamu merasa letih kerana berbuat kebaikan maka sesungguhnya keletihan itu akan hilang dan kebaikan yang dilakukan akan terus kekal. Dan sekiranya kamu berseronok dengan dosa maka sesungguhnya keseronokan itu akan hilang dan dosa yang dilakukan akan terus kekal.
-Saidina Ali bin Abi Thalib.
It has been a while since the last update. Here, I would like to share another self-reflection.
I was undergoing a selection process for an internship in a company in Sarawak. It has just ended yesterday, actually. It was a very long and complicated selection process. Even so, there are many things I learned from this particular experience.
As an HR graduate, being unemployed for a year now give me an idea about how incompetence I am. Seeing my friends being hired, and some even change their work for a few times already, it does makes me feel a bit inferior. I always feel like this, but, now, the feeling grows and give me thought of wanting to give up of anything. But I won't, because it's obviously not a good idea, right? Hehe ^_^
The 1st stage of the assessment was an essay test. The question given was about the cultural diversity in an organization. This stage didn't require me to communicate with the panel. All I did was writing in an hour. After about a month, I was called for an interview and was given another assessment, which is to prepare a business proposal and present it before the interview, within a week. I have no business knowledge, therefore, it's so challenging. For a few days, I did my own research on how to plan a business, prepare a business proposal, cost-business analysis, and etc. Thank you very much to Kino and her friend. Also, to Fateh and as always, Hazwan Yatimi for teaching me on how plan a business and make a proposal. And towards my brothers who helped me with brainstorming. Hontou ni Arigatou!
And finally, the day comes, 8/10/2014. I did the presentation and they said it was interesting. Not sure whether they really felt that way or they were just saying out of formality, because actually I have no confidence about my ideas. After the presentation, we did a bit discussion on the proposed project. Through the discussion, I learned more things about business planning. Then, begin the interview session.
We talk about myself. When we talked about my hobbies and interest, the panels said something interesting that makes me reflect upon myself. I told them that I like reading. I was asked about the last book I read and my favorite genre. I said I like reading motivational and religious books. I don't remember what we talked about, but one of the panel said I need to be more positive, learn from the book. Being honest, I said, "The content of the books usually seems too good to trust in. I always ended up doubting whether they are true or not. Still, I wonder why I keep on reading." Then she said, "You have to change your mind set. I am sure the writer had much more experiences in life. They must had gone through all that they wrote in the book somewhere at the other side of this world. If not, how would they come up with such writing, don't you think so?". 'Aaahh, she just said something powerful.' I thought at the moment. Then I started wondering, why exactly did I read all these time. As I returned home, I look at my book shelves and thought about her words.
'She's right'. I realized that all these time, instead of reading to see or explore the world from the books, I tried to find another world in the book, to escape from the harsh reality. I was like a person who find romance through Shakespeare's poem, instead of the love itself. So, I decided to read those books again with a changed mind set. I will be a changed person. InsyaAllah. I am really grateful towards them. I am glad that I met and talked with them. There are so many things I learned. Thank you Allah.
Then, they asked me whether I am keen to work in the IT since I have basic programming knowledge. I was not sure myself, because programming is something I did for fun. Then, they asked me whether I would like to take a programming test. It was hard for me to say no. I agreed. They gave me the question ahead and told me to think about it, considering my zero IT background. I misunderstood and spent a week to create the system, instead. When I went there yesterday, I was sent to MIS department, and asked to develop the system on the spot within 3 hours. I was troubled. I even asked the officer who attended me whether I can give up on the test. I was prepared to leave. Then, he brief me a bit, and from his briefing, programming suddenly became more simpler than before. I took the test and take it as an opportunity to challenge myself and test my own capability. The staff there was asking about my background, where did I learn PHP and MySQL, and whether I took a minor in IT during my study. They are very kind and encouraging. From the test, I have learnt many new things in programming. When the system was working, I thought, 'I might be able to become a full fledged programmer if I can trained here.' But I doubt that I will get the position. On my way back, I realized that there was a mistake in the system. I felt disappointed and drove 110 km/h for the first time since I got my driving license. Even so, I am thankful for everything I learned yesterday. I decided to keep on learning programming.
See? There are many things I learned despite of being just a candidate for the internship. I gained so much things from this experience, and I hope I will be given an opportunity to give too.. Hehe.. ^^ Merci beaucoup, tout le monde!!
As a reminder for my future self,
1. Do not take other people's words for granted. They might be meaningful. Learn from it, think and reflect. InsyaAllah, it can be inspirational.
2. Do not give up easily. Have no fear of other people's expectation. Before, I always thought that expectation is bothersome. People will have no expectation if they see no potential. Do not fear of knowing your limit to your capability. When you know your capacity level, you will know where to improve. On the other hand, if you keep avoiding it, you will stay the way you are. Explore yourself, and keep improving to be better. InsyaAllah, we can. Kalau tak dipecahkan ruyung, manakan dapat sagunya, kan?
مَنْ جَدَّ وَجَدَ
"Sesiapa yang berusaha (Inshallah) akan mendapat apa yang diusahakannya".
مَنْ يَجْتَهِدْ يَنْجَحْ
"Sesiapa yang berusaha (Inshallah) akan beroleh kejayaan."